she hangs around with eight other girls around one table.

This girl does not know me, however she did say I would be someone she would give her number to while I was there, it was more like a statement she didn't expect an response to and because of what I was doing I couldn't answer her back anyway. Therefore I'm determined to get her number...

The problem I have here is she hangs around with eight other girls around one table one of which does not like me at all, I guess I'm like poison in her eyes or something, so I know she is going to say something if I go over and ask her out and I'd prefer to ask her in private, so I need to separate this girl from them for a talk, but she doesn't know my name or anything so would I be weird if I asked her to come and talk? I don't think I could catch her on her own either because I just don't know where she goes in college.

If she does come to talk in the end would it be even more weird if I asked her if she was up to anything at the weekend?

I mean, would you girls mind if someone you openly told you where interested in asked you out if you don't know him well, what would be the best way he could get you away from your mates without embarrassing either of you when you know some of them don't like him?

Any advice is appreciated, I don't think about going up to girls regularly and in fact I can't remember when I did it last, but I'm feeling fairly confident about this. Thanks.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Judging from your age I assume she's 18 or so as well. This is important because she probably doesn't realize that it's hard to attract a guy or get a guy to talk to her when she is with a large group of other girls. Unfortunately it takes time for most girls to learn this and get the courage to break away from the group either by herself or with one or two other girlfriends. That being said, the next time you see her out, wait for her to go to the restroom. She will probably go with at least one of her friends, but, so long as it's not the one who doesn't like you, it will make it easier for you to approach her. (But wait until she comes out of the restroom - not before she goes in.) Then you can go up to her before she goes back to her table and say hi and introduce yourself. Don't expect a long conversation or her number right away (though who knows? That may happen - just don't expect it); all you are doing is introducing yourself so that you can say hi to her in the future when you see her and find out more about her then. You'll probably find that she will even start saying hi to you first, especially if she is truly interested. Once you two actually do start having conversations, ask for her number. Most likely she is interested, or else she wouldn't have said that you are someone she would give her number to. If she said it directly to you, then she probably wanted you to ask right then and there. If you weren't there, then she probably wanted someone to tell you. Another move you could make - if you're feeling more bold - send her a drink (I assume non-alcoholic, unless you are in a country where the drinking age is 18) or an appetizer. It's a cliched move, but it can be effective. Bottom line is, remember that she's young and is just as unsure about how to proceed as you are. She's even probably wondering why you haven't made a move yet.


What Guys Said 1

  • Let's be honest here dude: Your real issue isn't "will she mind" it's "will I be rejected."

    Here's the real answer: If you're worried about her liking you, or you're worried about being embarrassed, then you've got an uphill battle, even if she's into you.

    If instead you learn to crush your ego, and act like a confident man, then you'll likely have success with her - even if she's not interested. Easier said then done, I know.

    Women are empathic. They can sense energy from a mile away. Plus they will reflect your energy. If your energy says "you're going to reject me, and now I'm being creepy" then her response will be "Um... um.. I'm busy... I gotta go."

    If your energy was "Hey, you're so cute, and I like chatting with you." then her response will be "okay, he's being cool. I can't tell but I think he's into me. That' flattering. I wonder if he's dating material."

    After you get your head straight (google "attraction and rapport" to learn more) tehn your next step is to have more fun banter with her. Get to know her LONG before you even worry about getting her number.

    As a matter of fact I don't even bother getting numbers anymore. If a girl is fun and I want to see more of her, then I simply invite her out to have fun with me - sometimes right in that moment.

    In the hall between classes - "Hey, I'm heading to the lounge to grab, come with me so I can ask you about this weird dream I had!"

    While sitting with friends - "Hey Suzy, I'm going to grab a coffee and then I'll be right back - come with me, I want to ask you something... away from all these nosey neighbors, ha ha. I need some advice." Then you've got her alone and you can ask her about your studies, or something unrelated.

    Then you can ask - "Hey, there's this new place downtown that sells huge cupcakes. Come check it out with me tonight after dinner, around 6?"

    Once that date is actually lined up THEN you can bother getting her number - "Hey, what's your cell? Incase plans change."

    I wish you luck!

    ~ Robby