Just starting to date at 21. How do I get up to speed/learn what I need to learn?

Hey all. So I've entered the dating market at this later age (yes, virgin too._.) and as such, feel humbled by all the things I need to do/learn and wonder if I even have a chance after most of my peers have been dating/having relationships since high school.

To that end, I have a few questions about how everything works, as well as some advice questions. Please let me know if there's anything else important that I should know before jumping into this. Thanks in advance!

Dating in general:

-How much does the fact that I'm inexperienced matter, especially with the right person? Is clumsiness and inexperience always a turn-off/dealbreaker? Can I "sell" my inexperience (that is, spin it into a positive)?

-How do I know when to progress/make a move in a relationship? I'm concerned here with when/if to ask for a second date, when to go in for that first kiss, how to respond to/initiate intimacy (especially in the bedroom), etc. I'm guessing this mainly deals with emotion but I feel that a bit of know-how wouldn't hurt.

-How can I avoid awkwardness when talking to someone? What should I even talk about on a date? Are awkward silences forgivable if the person likes me enough?

-What newbie mistakes should I be wary of? How can I come off the right way in the midst of being anxious about finding a relationship? The last thing I want to do is come off as insecure/clingy/creepy, or as ignorant/cold.

Online dating:

-What's some good advice when building an online profile? Looking for advice with pics, "about me" sections, etc. here

-How should I go about sending that first message? I know that I should say something funny/about their interests, but what else?

-How long should I wait to suggest meeting up? Any ideas as to where to suggest (I'm guessing something casual?)?

Speed dating:

-Haven't done this before. Anything I should know going in?


-How deep in over my head/far behind am I in the idea of starting to date at this age?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No one is going to answer all this, don't overthink it. Everyone has a unique situation and unique experiences, just be comfortable with who you are and if the relationship is right then she will accept you as you are.

    • Yeah, in retrospect I probably should've split this into separate questions/asked less... Thanks for the advice though!

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • These are the perfect questions to be asking. Would someone either make the answers to these into a guide or something. If nobody does, I will probably make a collective guide/Take with the good answers.

  • Once i start dating I'll come back to this question and learn from the answers :-)

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