When should I stop expecting him to say "I love you" again?

We had what I thought was a near perfect relationship until about 4 months into our relationship when we had our first fight over him needing to decide if he wanted to go back to his ex (who he broke up with very shortly before dating me, so he could date me, yeah I know that wasn't a good idea...)
ANYWAY, we've been on and off since that point and it's now 4 months past that fight. We used to say I love you up until our fight, and he hasn't said it since. He said something about it not meaning the same to him (which I find strange because he had no problem saying it before the fight) and feeling a little vulnerable in the relationship since I broke up with him twice for this issue. I have not stopped saying it but severely cut how often I say it. He has gone nowhere near the word in that 4 months following the fight and I now wonder if he ever will. Our relationship is definitely not the same wonderful thing it was.

My take is while I understand he now regards the word differently and doesn't want to say it, he has said that his actions should show he loves me. If he really loves me, why is it so hard to squeak out those 3 little words he knows I'm absolutely dying not hearing? It seems like if you really love someone and want them to feel loved, no amount of past baggage would stop you from saying them if you knew they would be well-received. Am I missing something here?

How long should I wait for him to say it again before I give up and start to move on?



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  • If he has feelings for the ex then he shouldn't be in a new relationship until he sorts his feelings out. If he isn't saying "I love you" it's because he doesn't feel it.

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