I'm by no means the world's best-looking or most outstanding guy, but I'm usually very successful with girls because I have lots of self-confidence and self-belief. Some of my female friends have insinuated that I'm probably *over*confident in myself. They tend to think that I should tone it down because it's lame to think too highly of oneself. My thing is though, I see these guys who lack self-confidence and they never have girlfriends. I'd rather be busting with confidence than thinking that I'm a loser, because low confidence is an attraction killer for girls.
The issue with my friends arose last semester when I was pursuing this really hot girl who every guy at my school wants. My female friends kind of scoffed that she was out of my league, and said that I should be going for girls that are closer to me in attractiveness. I did eventually date the really beautiful girl, but when we broke up, my female friends said it was probably because she saw through the "facade" of my confidence and realized I'm just a regular guy.
I don't want to be a douche, but I know that a lot of my success is because I am maybe overconfident. I don't want to drive girls away in LTRs because of being a d-bag, but I also fear that I'll be sidelined by girls if I don't project confidence. How do I do this balancing act?
Most Helpful Girl
From reading, the issue doesn't seem to be about confidence/self-belief. Its about who you portray yoursefl to be - if you act like someone you're not, then stop that and when you talk to girls be confident in who you are NOT who you pretend to be aka 'the facade'
If you do think you act like yourself and show people u talk who you are then your friends are just being jealous idiots.
For me, its better to be overconfident (NOT arrogant) because if you turn insecure, I would pity you (and pity is emotionally draining, though I am compassionate I dont want to constantly be sorry for someone) and I also cannot respect someone who wallows around in insecurity, so whatever you do dont lose confidence because confidence is sexy and gives an energetic vibe.0