How do I get her back?

I really need advice on how to get her back. We dated casually for about 3 months, and I admittedly did not put a lot of effort into it. I was just not in a rush to get serious and figured she would say something when she wanted to get serious. When she started to get distant recently I realized how much I care about her, and told her how I feel, that I want to get serious etc...
She says we just don't communicate well, even though she really likes me and I am otherwise perfect for her. She said when we first started going out she was convinced we would get really serious.
I tried to convince her that we just haven't given it a fair chance since neither of us were really trying to communicate, but she's not convinced. She asked if we could stay friends (and climbing partners since we both climb a lot) if it wasn't too painful for me. I said I'd get in touch with her after New Year's to see how I feel.
So she texted me this week to ask if I wanted to go climbing this week, which I agreed to even though I'm not sure I'm ready to handle just being friends. We're supposed to go climbing tonight.
I can't stop thinking about her. Last night I texted her at 8 o'clock and she didn't reply until 11:30. The whole time I'm just wondering if she's on a date with another guy. I want her back so bad and I'm convinced she hasn't given it a fair chance. How do I get her back? Do I just play it cool for a while and be her friend? Or do I just go for it right away and try to convince her to try again?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say go for it right away if she is still wants to hang out with you she still has some feelings and if you wait to long playing it "cool" she might take it as ok he just wants to be friends. Tell her how you feel and how much you think and care about her if that doesn't convince her then she has moved on


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What Girls Said 1

  • If she's still in contact with you she still wants sex. That's a fact


What Guys Said 1

  • Just play it cool and try to be friends. It sucks cause it feels like your doing this whole dance again with her. The only advantage to this is that you and she once had feeling for you and maybe she still does since you're still in talking terms with her. You're best bet is deal with the communication issue with her first. Be an active listener: listen to what she says and respond to her in kind, play into her interests by asking her questions on the stuff she's interested in. Encourage and nurture those interests and perhaps you could rekindle and ignite the flame that was once was.