My boyfriend is friends with his ex, but I don't want this?

They've been together for around 3 years and he was madly in love with her. She wanted to break up, so he didn't let her go for very long. Since then 2 years passed and during this time he felt so heartbroken (still had feelings) that he didn't want any more relationships.

I know in spring he showed her pic to our common friend and said that's the girl he likes and talks to on whatsapp.

We started as friends with benefits in the end of September and somehow developed feelings for each other. We've now been officially together for 2 months. He says he doesn't love me yet and as soon as he does he will change FB status (right now he doesn't want, and only I have "dating" status). He also says he's not totally obsessed with me, but the feelings he has for me are already strong for him. I, on the other hand, feel I like him more.

I know they still talk while living in different countries and not seeing each other (only when he is back home once in half a year). She knows we hang out, but not that we're dating. He promised to say it (not sure if he will). His friends and parents know about me though. When I asked him to stop talking to her, he got mad and say I can't tell him what to do. That they grew up together and are adequate people so they now talk (not often but still). He will still talk to her no matter what I say, but promised to talk less.

I feel jealous. What should I do to change the situation? He had strong feelings for her that he doesn't have for me yet. He says he needs more time to get used to having a gf emotionally. Please help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You can't ask him to stop talking to his friend. They grew up together. They are friends. Don't worry about that he doesn't like love her anymore. At least from what you said. She broke his heart and he just doesn't want the same thing to happen with you. So that is what he meant by having to get used to girlfriend emotionally. Just wait he'll come around.

    • I'm the first girl who opened him up after this. It's more like he says he doesn't have butterflies in his stomach, but he likes me a lot, won't break up, change himself, etc.
      Thank you for your opinion. Finally someone said something positive about my situation. I was abused as a child and was usually never told my my mother I am pretty or good at something. There was always "look, there is still someone better than you". That's why the problem of being better than other girls harms my life.

    • Don't ever tell yourself your worthless or not beautiful. It is false. Don't drag yourself down. You sound like an awesome girl.

    • Can you please answer my question? Only one person has so far.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I would break up with him if your dating. I wouldn't want to date a girl that doesn't love me but has feelings for another guy. You should find someone that makes you happy and can make up their mind who they want. And that loves you.

    • He says he doesn't have feelings for her anymore. But that's what he says to me.. I'm not quite confident to believe in it. I'm more pissed oof about him being so much in love before, but not with me.

    • Guys don't just text a girl that they don't have feelings for over and over again.

  • stop being such a control freak

    • He said no, I never brought it up again. I'm more worried about losing him than being unreasonably controlling.

    • you will lose him if you act like an insecure psycho

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