Found out he is married... what now?

The other night I went out to a bar. A guy approached me and said he "had to come over to talk to me." We chatted for a while about ourselves, talking about our schoolwork, jobs, and other quirky facts. I asked him his last name but he wouldn't say. After he bought me a drink, he asked me for my number. I then went on to hang out with my friends and he with his. He then found me later and we hung out until I left.

Since then, we've been texting. It's been a few days since we met. The texts are flirty and cute. We've sent a couple (normal) pictures as well. We made plans to hang out on Tuesday. After he gave me his instagram account, I discovered what his last name was via the account page. So of course I looked him up on Facebook and discovered that he is married. I thought it might be a joke, but after looking at his page, I found out who the girl was and noticed all their posts about their recent wedding and their long distance relationship.

I know we haven't really established any sort of friendship or romantic relationship, but I am still pretty disappointed and angry. When we hung out, it definitely felt like flirting. He did ask if I would be his friend since he didn't know many people from here. I would have been OK with that, but he never mentioned that he was married.

How do I approach this situation now? I definitely don't want to be the other woman but I'm not quite sure I feel comfortable hanging out as friends with him. I'm don't want to assume anything either. Maybe he really was looking for just a friend, but my gut is telling me that he's looking for something more. Please help me!

Also, he doesn't know that I know he is married. I want to make sure he knows that I know. Should I just bluntly tell him that I saw his Facebook and know he is married or should I ask him if he is looking for only a friendship?


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  • well he probably doesn't want to just hang out "as friends" because if he did, he would have told you he was married already. isn't the answer obvious? you don't hang out with him at all. i'm not sure why this is a question...

    • I'm just making sure before I do anything. Just wanted to get another person's opinion before I acted because I know that things can look very different when you are the one actually in the situation. Thanks for the advice but there was no need to be judgmental. It just sucks because I was actually really into him. But obviously I'm not going to do anything to hurt this poor woman.

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    • So I ended up asking him straight up if he was single or not and I'm pretty sure he blocked me. So I think that's my answer right there.

    • sorry girl. figured it wouldn't be good. some people suck. at least you found out and got out before you were in too deep

  • Yeah he was definitely looking to hook up with you. That sick fuck. -_____- His poor wife...

  • Just set your rules ya know he's married, so know what you want from the friendship. If he tries to pursue you farther then ask him why he would do that and remind him of his wife.. If he blows it off just remember that if it works out with him then one day you could be the wife in the same situation.

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