My bf won't tell this girl to back off?

I am having issues with this girl who keeps texting my bf. They were friends for 6 years before we dated. It was obvious from the moment we started becoming friends that she liked him as more than a friend. She was very touchy feely with him and she doesn't have a license and she would always make him drive her places. She also always asked him to cover her for dinner and such and she never offered him gas money. She didn't work or anything. Once we started dating almost 4 years ago I said look it is obvious to me and everyone else that she likes. you and she is using you for rides out of respect for our relationship can you please cut back on the Chrissy time and the rides
I just don't think it is OK at all to be some other girl's chauffeur when you are in a serious relationship with someone else and I didn't feel comfortable with him always talking/hanging out with a girl who obvs had a thing for him. He cut back a lot and stopped giving her rides but she continued to blow up his phone all the time and say nasty things about me. Well for a while she backed off but recently she started textinf him saying that she misses him and blah blah blah and saying a bunch of other inappropriate things to a guy who has a gf. She constantly is texting him stupid random things saying like guess what this guy paid my phone bill like news flash he doesn't care. Should I text her telling her to fall back and back off my bf. She supposedly even has a bf so why is she constantly up my man's ass? It bugs me that my bf responds to her.

I think everyone is missing where she is acting like they are dating by asking him for money rides and texting him all the time.
I mean if a person in a relationship doesn't draw the line somewhere with boundaries then how do you form respect for yourself if u let people walk all over you? So if me as his girl is uncomfortable with an amount of closeness he has with another women I'm supposed to just swallow and suck it up and never speak up for myself when boundaries are being crossed? I mean for chriss sake you would think I was demandinf he never text another women again for as long as he lives judging by these


Most Helpful Guy

  • After reading your question, as well as your responses to the guy who gave you an insightful opinion, I think your boyfriend should dump you and enjoy his life.

    Your boyfriend is a grown man, he has his own reasons for helping out this other woman like he does, and frankly that is his business. Regardless of how you might feel otherwise, you do not own him and are not entitled to one minute more of his time or attention than he is willing to give to you.

    If you really want an answer, quite screwing around on a website and confront him with your demands. If he chooses to not meet your demands then dump him and find a guy who is a better match for you. But please, don't come looking for opinions from others you aren't actually interested listening to.

    • It is my business when my bf constantly paying attention to another women. He at least owes it to me to tell my why he is so obsesses with her over 4 years. It is called having standards yes I expect the guy I plan on marrying to pay attention to me more than another women and to put my feelings first its not called owning him I don't know where u got that from its called respect.

    • Show All
    • >> yet a real man

      Good lord, this old chestnut. So in your book, he is not a "real man", yet you plan to marry him. Have you told him you do not consider him to be a real man? If not, why not? Do you think he would still consider you marriage material if he knew how you really felt?

      >> would defend and sticl by his girl and not let another girl come in
      >> between that and he is allowing another women to disrespect our
      >> relationship by constantly asking him for rides and money when she
      >> does nothing to help herself and bad mouth me.

      Those are all expectations you are projecting on to him, that does not mean those are actually his priorities and that is his choice. You should communicate to him that those things bother you and that you are unhappy. If nothing changes and you are still unhappy, then I think you seriously consider your options about what you need in your life to be happy. You are entitled to make decisions for yourself that affect your own life.

    • >> Its not like the only reason I have an issue with her is because she
      >> is a women there is much more to it. When I say I should come before
      >> another women I am not talking about family members. He could at least
      >> tell me why he deems it necessary to give her a ride all the time.

      I can tell you the answer to that question right now. He gives her rides because he wants to. He has not ended his friendship with her because he doesn't want to. I don't know why, nor do I care, that is his business. All you can do is communicate to him clearly what you can and cannot accept. If his continued friendship with this woman is a deal breaker and he does not end it, then you have the option to end your relationship with him. That is a choice you are entitled to make.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Friends for 6 years.. if they wanted each together they would've had each other...

    • She is obviously she pining after him. I don't know I just think that a gf of 4 years> a female friend. Did you read all the things she does that is disrespectful to our relationship. Constantly asking him to cover for her and for rides and texting him all the time random things. It sounds like she is trying to be more than just friends and that shit don't fly with me. He isn't in a relationship with her he is in one with me and she needs tobl respect that and back off. A guy should not be friends with a girl who doesn't respect his relationship or his girl that isn't being a good friend. A good female friend would know her place and include his gf and be respectful of his relationship. She doesn't need to act like she is his gf by asking him to pay for things texting him all the time and asking for rides that is what you do for a gf not for a girl who is just a friend. If he is going to treat her just like me then what is the point of me being the special girl in his life?

  • Stop being so jelly and realize your bf is a grown man and can make decisions on his life without your help.

    If this is his friend for 6 years, but he's never been attracted to her, why would you feel he's gonna leave you out of the blue for her? He's just friends and you need to accept that.

    Of course your bf should explain to her that he is not attracted to her, but at the end of the day, no one likes it when people come between friendships.

    So stop being so self centered and let him be a man and choose his friends himself.

    • I think it is disrespectful to contonue a friendship with a girl who obvs has thing for him. A gf should always come before a female friend. Did you read the rest of my post she always used him for rides. If it was just a platonic friendship on both ends and she didn't expect him to be her personal chauffeur u would be OK with it. She shouldn't be acting like his pseudo gf when he is in a relationshop. She needs to respect his relationship and if she was a good friend she would do that and respect boundaries. She needs to back off and yes I expect my bf to respect me and stand up for me.

    • She is coming between me and my man. Sorry but I'm not trying to share my man with other women. As his gf I have the right to text him constantly and get rides. if needed not another women.

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