Why is my boyfriend so shady?

Where to start? My boyfriend is just shady. I'm not a naturally mistrusting person, in fact I often trust too easily, and I've been lucky to never have been badly burned in a relationship before, so I have no reason to mistrust. But there's so much about him that doesn't sit right.

We've been together 7 months and over the course of that time he's lied to me about lots of things. I know that he's lied because he has an awful memory and has often tripped up on himself and told me the truth on a later occasion.

He's lied about going home from work, when in fact he was at his friends taking drugs (something I don't approve of), he's lied about the fact he doesn't use Facebook - assume this is because he doesn't want to update his relationship status, even though I've never approached that subject with him, as i'm quite laid back about that - but I've seen images of other girls profile pictures he's liked come up on my timeline, and he's lied to his parents saying we're busy when they invited us to spend time with them - without even asking me!

Despite all of the above I can actually tell he genuinely likes me, but just has no respect for me? I've tried confronting him about it and he says it's because he hasn't had any relationships in the past so he doesn't know what's right and wrong. I'm at the end of my tether now, I've tried to work through these problems with him but it's not helping. I don't think he wants to make the effort to stop lying to me.

This led me to ashamedly check his phone on one occasion. I felt so sick when I did it as its so out of character for me to do so. I saw he'd sent a photo of himself (fully clothed - nothing dodgy!) to a girl whose number wasn't saved. He'd written how he'd lost weight and was looking 'sexy'. I just can't even think straight now. I don't know what to believe or do :(


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • he just sounds like he's kinda lazy and is just coasting through life right now. plus the lying part may be out of habit. but the last part is weird fosho.

    • Yeah, I agree he is lazy which is why I've given him the benefit of the doubt for so long. The last part was definitely the tip of the iceberg really. Could have possibly coped with the rest, but that's just untrusting :(

What Girls Said 1

  • Get rid of him. Sounds like a loser. If he doesn't respect you, you can't have a meaningful relationship with him, end of story.

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