Secure with insecurity?

Is it possible to be secure about one's insecurities?

Since admitting that I have social anxiety, I've noticed that I have developed or already had all the mental framework of a confident person, but there are just a number of situations where I feel horribly uncomfortable. I really feel like I'm just a confident guy with a certain phobia which doesn't seem like it should be all that uncommon. So I wonder if I'm seen as having that attractive confidence so often talked about if I just be my laid back self, then when the situations that I don't like come up I just say 'nah that freaks me out I don't want to do it' and just don't make a big deal about it in the way an arachnophobe might just say 'I don't do spiders' and leave it at that.

Is that basically the same thing?

If just say 'man, super nice waitstaff make my feel horribly comfortable' do I look lame compare to a simple admission of some other phobia? Because I know the way I am and I know I can get over it, and I don't care about it in a sense. It's just this thing I have that I deal with and I just want to be able to throw it out there and not care about it. But perhaps it's one of those things people should keep to themselves no matter how relaxed and accepting they are about their flaws. Thoughts?

Does the mere mention of social anxiety detract from a man's attractiveness?

I get that some girls like shy guys, but is it possible to convice you that I'm a largely secure/confident person who just gets anxiety here and there? Because that's how I feel and want to act. But am I actually hurting my chances with girls by being this way?
I feel like a confident guy with a number of triggers, totally aware and accepting of those triggers. Can that be a thing?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It is what it is man. If you'd want to tell your friends I'm sure they'd understand and take it for what is. They may even be able to help you avoid certain triggers for your anxiety. I don't see any bad coming from it.

    • But what does the mention of a trigger do to my chances with girls? Can I still be considered a confident guy with girls if I tell them I get horribly uncomfortable ordering food or that chatty waitstaff intimidate me?

      Can I look attractively confident and be open about anxiety at the same time?
      I feel like a confident guy with a number of triggers, totally aware and accepting of those triggers. Can that be a thing?

    • Absolutely, your human and it's nice to see imperfections. Bet you'd still do whatever it takes to defend or protect her should the situation arrive. Your all good :)

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