My boyfriend's housemate doesn't like me. What should I do?

My bf is very close with his housemate. They're good guys. His housemate is single, and he gets angry because Valentine is coming. My bf and I usually hangout at his place. Yesterday I overheard them and basically his housemate said he hates it because I'm always in their house. What should I do now?


Most Helpful Guy

  • First and foremost, this is on your boyfriend to worry about, not you. For a lot of people, their house is a sanctuary and it can be really hard when they have to share that space on the regular. I don't know about you, but when I'm at home, I feel like I don't have to worry about being presentable to the public (read: shower or wear pants) but when someone else is there I do. When I don't feel like I can relax, it's sort of like being a prisoner in my own home. Add to that the fact that the housemate is probably jealous of your boyfriend's relationship, and it's understandable that he would be upset about you being there all the time.

    The first thing to do is talk to your boyfriend, since he knows the housemate better than you do. Maybe the housemate is just in a bad mood about something and this will blow over. Also, think about ways that you might occasionally include the housemate in activities when you're over there (by which I mean games and stuff, not a threesome or anything). The less he feels like a third wheel, the more comfortable he'll be around you. And in the same mindset, make sure that you don't spend too much time encroaching on the common areas of the house where he would otherwise be spending time if you weren't there. Finally, think of ways to get out of the house, either at your place if that's feasible, or just going out so that the housemate can have some alone time.

    • I know this is on my boyfriend, but as his girlfriend I can't just pretend like I know nothing and leaves it all on him.
      We only stay in his room, and his housemate always stay in his own room. We rarely go out to the kitchen or anything like that. We always keep our voice down too.
      One of a reason for his action I could think of is because he's not over his ex girlfriend who left him for someone else's get, that's why he gets annoyed and kinda bitter I'd say when my bf has a gf and always being her home.
      They don't play games or anything. He always study. What activity do you suggest that I can get him involved so he doesn't feel like a third wheel? I tried to be ultra nice to him and talk to him and try to be a good friend with him but nothing seems to work.
      I can't bring my boyfriend to my place since I'm living with my parents. We hang out a lot outside of his house but sometimes we just have nowhere to go but his house.

    • If everything you're saying is true, then I can't stress enough how much this isn't your problem. He's going to be miserable until he's not miserable anymore. But, again, talk to your boyfriend about it. Let him know that it makes you feel uncomfortable knowing that the housemate doesn't want you there. If your boyfriend dismisses it, then there's not much more you can do. Continue being nice, but realize that sometimes you just can't make someone like you.

    • The fact that the housemate is one of my bf's bestfriend, I really want to change the fact he doesn't like me. I'd take your advice. Thank you so much for it. I just want to make sure it isn't my fault to be in their house often.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Do nothing. Let your man handle this; a roommate situation like this has no place for outsiders. They must settle this among themselves.


What Girls Said 2

  • He has every right to be annoyed. Hang out at your place.

    • He doesn't have any right to be annoyed. They both pay rent it's not like my bf stays there for free.

      No my parents are strict no guys allowed.

  • Invite him around yours more.

    • I live with my parents so I can't. He lives in an apartment with his housemate.

    • You can still have him around... your parents are there so what?

    • They are strict no guys are allowed in the house. They're conservative no sex until marriage no boyfriend until you get a job and graduate from university.

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