Why did he come back into my life and tell me he had feelings for me, say he 'didn't know what he wanted', to then start dating another girl?

My ex came back into my life lately and told me he had feelings for me and asked if I loved him. After I told him I'd moved on in our prior 6 month break from each other, and hung out with other guys, he changed and suddenly seemed turned off by me. He stopped making conversation and seemed less chatty. Anyway we argued about my seeing another guy during our 'break'. He said his motive in getting in touch was to become friends and then to tell me his 'true feelings'. This week though he was tagged in a photo with another girl and when I asked him, after a days delay, he finally told me he's dating her! Then he did a 180 and said that he only ever wanted friendship. When I asked for an explanation about his 'feelings' and the fact that if you just want to be friends with someone a) you don't ask me if I love you and b) you shouldn't get annoyed at the person for seeing someone else (even though we weren't together!!). Now he's convinced I 'want more' rather as he just wants friendship and has cut me off. I don't understand why he bothered insinuating about feelings etc if he was going to see someone else. Guys (or gals) any advice? Am I confused or is this just jerk behaviour?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He was probably confused to begin with. It seems like you unintentionally hurt his feelings when you decided to move on. Then it looks like he eventually decided to move on, which confused you. I wouldn't worry about him since he's decided to move on now. How do you see him as being a jerk if he just did what you did?

    • well last year I cut him off because he started seeing someone else, so I naturally tried to get over him and move on, so he can't be mad at me for that. I made it clear that what happened with me was during a time we were not together (I didn't think he'd be in my life again) It was only after about 5-6 months he got in touch again. To top it off he said he ended it with the other girl because he felt guilty about me! So I don't understand why he was inquiring how I felt towards him, saying ' I must still have feelings for him because he'd be lying if he said he didn't', and asking if I LOVED him. The he goes all distant and quiet and starts dating someone else and says he onlny ever wanted friendship...

    • Okay, he doesn't know what he wants/wanted. In the mean time you shouldn't be the girl he bounces back to. You deserve a man who knows what he wants, not one who can't make his mind up. Keep this guy as friend but find a new lover. You deserve better.

    • thanks its nice to know im not crazy!

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