'I've been semi pressured to ask my bf to pay rent, he's been living with me for 3 months. I'm not sure how to ask or if it's too soon please HELP?

He stays with me here ( we practically live together ) it's my place. I pay rent, and the bills, he helps with grocery shopping, my friends and family say it's time
For him to pay rent and I feel bad asking, should he pay bills and I pay rent or should he pay rent in general? Please give me a real advice, I don't know how to ask or say we pay Half and half? Ugh i don't know but I do need the help


Most Helpful Girl

  • I dont think it should be about whether you can afford it on your own or whatever.. now its not just you! If he is eating sleeping showering not to mention using other utilities, he is basically LIVING with you. Its the principle. Ask yourself:would you feel comfortable occupying someone elses home in the same manner as often as he is and not feel obligated to help financially? Would you feel insulted if they asked you to? there's your answer. Just because he is a guy you are dating as opposed to a friend or roommate, etc, makes no difference. Its the principle. And, in my opinion, i would think he as a man, with a job, should feel a little more of an obligation to do so... the fact he has no problem living with his parents and now you without helping out if not asked.. might be something to really think about. Just saying. Have a talk. If he is serious enough to spend so much time over your place he should expect to have a serious talk about his plans for living situation/or reaching an agreement on sharing financial responsibilities. and you shouldn't feel bad about that!

    • Agree with you 200%. I just didn't want to feel like I'm taking advantage. But yes he is here As much as I am, eat, sleeps as much as I do here... So yea maybe he should pay rent. And I take Over the bills...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Is he still renting another place, or has he fully moved in with you? Does he have a stable job that gives him the money to afford to pay half of your rent?

    If he has moved in fully, and has has a job, just ask him to pay rent; it should be a big deal - your family and friends are right to nag you do do it!

    If he is renting another place or is temporarily unemployed, then that complicates things and asking for rent money may not be quite so straight forward...

    • Great point of view! He still lives with his mom. He's 24 and its a police officer so
      He makes more money than me. I just don't want to look like I am taking advantage of him so I was going to say for him to pay the bills which is barely 150 a month, but then is the same crap, I wouldn't be saving much, should I just say for him to pay rent and I pay bills?

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    • by the way, I disagree with the other anonymous gager on the significance of him living with his parents... they're treating it as if it means he has his own place, but living with your parents in your twenties (or older) is not like that at all (as evidenced by the fact that I expect you don't stay over at his place much).

      Basically the only reason he'd have for not wanting to move in as I see it is to save on money/responsibilities... no guy in his twenties *wants* to live with their parents afterall ;)

    • Hahaha I agree with you!! I'Ve been braking my head thinking how to go about it, but this is the perfect way to ask. ;) txs

What Girls Said 1

  • Does he have his own place? Do you mind that he's not paying?

    • No he does not have his own place. He lives or LIVED with his parents, he's 24 and is a cop

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    • so you got your own place for years and a new boyfriend. you want him to pay rent for a place he didn't sign up a lease for where only your things are lying around and you just pay the bills? and why would you suddenly need help now when you could afford it before?

    • in some parts of the world, the kid pay the rent for his parents as soon as he can earn money or at least a share of it.

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