Bad date. Should I follow up or is it a lost cause?

So I met this girl online and we traded emails back and forth before deciding to meet up for a date. (On the emails, she seemed really cute, energetic, and kept checking my profile. I also have very accurate recent photos) I chose the restaurant and we met after work. Since she works close to the area, we met right after she was off work. From the get go, I felt that things were a bit "off" First, as soon as I met her, she shook my hand like I was approaching her for a interview.

Once we were seated, our conversation was really bland and banal. We ordered and chatted a bit but I didn't feel any fireworks going off. She did mention some things about the future of meeting her friends, we spoke about families, work, had some things in common and whatnot. She just didn't seem all that enthused and there were times of awkward silences.

After dinner, we split desert and she wanted to pay half but I insisted on paying. After dinner, I insisted on walking her back to her car but she said "It's ok, you don't have to, it just right there." I told her I would feel better walking her to her car and she smiled before saying ok. As soon as we got to her car, we kind of awkwardly stood there for about a minute before I blurted out "drive safe." She just kinda looked at me and said "Um, Thank you for dinner, it was nice meeting you."

The dinner date lasted about 2 hours or so but something about this whole thing is upsetting because I'm not sure if it was her or me that didn't put in the effort. I felt like she wasn't all that interested so I started to lose interest. By the time the date was over, I didn't ask for her number or ask her for a second date because I wasn't sure if she was interested and I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to see her again. She's attractive, intelligent, down to earth and boring.

From all the women experienced in dating matters, help a guy out with your take on it.



Most Helpful Guy

  • I honestly feel that people in online dating overall have no social skills whatsoever. I have noticed this with a lot of the girls online. They are boring as hell and the ones who can talk tend to just be egotistical and want to brag about how many guys message them for sex like it is a good thing.

    Overall, I'd you can hold a good conversation, and do your best to get rid of those awkward silences, you can brush off these silent dates and let it be.

    Also, I think you shouldn't text and email a lot before these dates. If the girl insists on emailing a lot before meeting you, she is preventing you from having something to talk about at the date itself. If you go on a date after emailing and texting so much, you have all their background but you didn't get to share your story in person. Plus, when you email a ton, you mistakenly build up an idea of who you think you're emailing and then when you show up, you find out they are nothing like who you thought they were. Keep in touch, but don't get into your personal lives. Save that for the meets.

    Overall, consider it just a stale date.

    • Ah, lots of good points. I have to say that most of the emails were mainly planning the date itself. Pretty tame and not a whole lot of personal info other than, I live around this area, I can meet you here, I'm available at this time, where would you like to meet, etc.

      She did mention that she is shy in her profile but she came off as being very business like for some reason. Just can't put my finger on it. I'm sure as a man, you've been on dates where you just didn't click with the girl and she seemed really wooden. Suffice to say, I'm having a hard time trying to figure out if she was just tired because she was at work for about 11 hours and met with me afterward or she really just wasn't interested. Maybe I bored her, but she definitely bored me. She seems really down to earth and all that but don't know man,

    • I've had many types. I don't online date like I used to because they're practically all fatties in my area and the ones who aren't got into this habit of letting all the perv messages boost their egos. They'd tell me about perverts online but they always got a smirk on their faces like they enjoy the attention. One girl even told me about a guy who tracked down her job and as she told me about it, it was like she was proud of it. I have also met a girl years ago who was a chatterbox making the escape pretty difficult.

      I have seen complaints about coffee dates seeming like interviews, but I feel like that is because a lot of people have way too specific preferences in dating. They're looking for something to specific.

      Overall I think your date just didn't click with you. She could've been tired, but there could also be something lacking. Dating may also be something she doesn't do much of either.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i wouldn't go on a third date. you guys don't have chemistry and awkward silences are always a big sign that it's not gonna work especially if you find her boring. but if you think overtime she'll get more comfortable around you and maybe less boring then you can give it a shot. honestly there's no loss in trying right? things might change. you know what they say "better to regret doing something than to regret not doing it."

    • Good point, I could email her and ask for a second date and if she says no or doesn't respond. No loss. But if she says yes, I'm not even sure if the second one will be any better.

What Guys Said 0

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