Why do I accept being treated badly by a guy I'm casually seeing when I've never put up with being treated badly before?

I always used to be a confident person but since I split from my husband I accept scraps of attention from this new guy I like. He has led me on for ages (he was amazing initially) and told me he loved me until we had sex, then he said he wasn't over his ex and all he wants is to have sex with me.
But it is the most sporadic sex buddies ever! Yet I can't get him out of my mind or stop talking to him even though I feel it is toxic for me.
I have an active social life but I do not meet anyone that I feel attracted to despite guys flirting with me, so I end up falling back onto this guy.
So my question is, why can I not stop this obsessive needy behaviour which I have never experienced before?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to go date some other people. Right now you are all wrapped up in him and him alone.

    Go on a date with someone else, start to get to know them. Don't hide it from this guy though, tell him you're dating other people. He probably thinks he's the one in charge and calling the shots, so show him he isn't. That you're still doing your own thing and leave him to get over his ex. Any guy who lies to fuck you isn't a keeper.

    • I have been on dates with other guys and I've been going to parties with guys but I'm just not interested in them. Whenever he knows I'm out he always messages me and I see him every day at work so I can't get away from him

    • Show All
    • Yeah I know how you feel, so much easier when you're in control!

      I don't know, good sex is hard to come by and I'm a weak person, I'd see if I could cool it down a bit by playing it cool and see where that leads, if he's not willing to do that then just drop him... I'm sure he will try extra hard to woo you back but if nothing changes then why bother? Tough situation. I hope things work out for you.

    • Thanks for the MHO

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What Guys Said 2

  • Get some more guys he's not the only fish in the barrel you have to dig deeper to find a whopper worth keeping.

    • I know I just can't find any guys I like so I keep going back to this one. Doesn't help that were very sexually conpatible

  • ther is nothin betta about, the best sex for me has been with girls which destroy me haha


What Girls Said 1

  • Its a thrill, its in our blood
    us girls have this idea in our heads about what we deserve when actually we deserve a lot better than that,
    i also had this thing for a guy same situation as what you are in head over heals.. so i though but initially its just the idea of him wanting you for what he does but you not being able to get what you want in return. Its a terrible thing...
    my advice get out of it as soon as possible get your life back on track..
    you deserve much better than a guy that has a child in his pants.

    • I don't know how to get away. He acts completely like he doesn't care (despite him saying the opposite) but whenever I try to end things he won't let me and he makes an effort to sort things. We work together so I see him everyday, I don't even think I love him so it's like I'm addicted to hurting myself :S