I just want this all to stop, to wither resolve itself somehow.

So before I start, I'm kindly asking you not to judge me harshly, I just want opinions and advice, not mean comments like "ur crazy or get over yourself"

This is my predicament. Just about a year and a half ago, my boyfriend, who I loved with all my heart, surprisingly, out of nowhere, broke up with me. I was crushed, he did the whole we'll be friends thing, was sweet as sugar to me, took me out for my birthday 5 days later, then after that nothing, I spoke to him once, he called me crazy stupid bitch, so I backed off for a good 6 months. Then I decided, after not being able to get him off my mind, that id email him for one last shot. He was kind this time, and gave me his reasons for why this relationship would never work...Im not the same nationality as him, therefore he can't raise our kids in the way of his culture. I went insane when I heard this, I couldn't stomach the fact that I was being rejected for something I couldn't change. Being severely depressed about him and school and other things in my life, I did the only thing I could think of to make myself feel better, I tried to kill myself. I woke up about 3 days later in the hospital, strapped arms, legs and head to the bed, told by nurses what happened, and that my liver was failing. Somehow after a week and with Gods help I got better, then another week later after I was deemed no longer a harm to myself or others I was released. it took awhile for me and my family to get over what happened but we did. It took over a year for my friends to get over it tho, that was hard. I played like I was over my ex after all this, but I wasn't, but I managed to find someone else to love, and we're still together now. I love him with all my heart, but here's the problem...Even tho I love my boyfriend of 1 year, there's a past of my heart that's still completely in love with my ex. I see him at my university and feelings well up in me, ill hide in the bathroom after I see him and cry my eyes out. I dream about him at night, I actually had a dream he came back to me and I left my boyfriend, the same night my boyfriend dreamt I left him for another guy. I know there's no getting back with my ex, I've done a lot of things to burn those bridges, that I won't go into detail with, but what do I do. how do I stop these feelings, how do I get him out of my head? I don't even know how he feels about me, I mean I know he checks my Facebook all the time, when he sees me around town at bars at school , he can't stop starring, I just drives me nuts. he hasn't dated since we broke up...i just want this all to stop, to wither resolve itself somehow or, ugh, I don't know. I don't even know what I'm asking right now. I guess just give me ur insight, talk about similar experiences, give me some feedback, I guess I just need to vent because there's no one left in my life that has the will power to listen to me and this problem anymore...thanks for reading, please be kind lol I've heard all the negative opinions already :)

thank you all very much for your kind words they really helped. I think I'm getting better with this, I saw him at a club recently when I was with my boyfriend, my ex was acting very strange, I left because it was awkward, he was drunk obviously and was..
staring at me...a week later he emailed me on my univeristy account, because I blocked him on Facebook...i didn't open it tho, I don't care what he has to say anymore, because I've realized I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I don't care aboutmy ex
anymore he can live his life and ill live mine, what I have with my boyfriend of 1 year is much more important & a million times better then what I had with my ex, so I'm going to cherish it with all my heart and with Gods help ill be over all this soon
thank you all again, and I hope you all find peace with ur situations as I hope I will soon with mine... :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been there. My last break-ups, I was thinking to kill myself but I didn't take any actions to do so. I was just thinking that I can't live without him and I didn't know what to do without him in my life although he treated me like crap. So, I was thinking to overdose myself. Anyway, I pray a lot and a met a better man (who is now my bf) a month after my break up.

    I still remember all the memories of my exes and at some point love them but I don't have the urge to go back to be with them. I am just glad it was over with my exes. I think the first step to get over someone is to fully accept the situation. You know that you will have no future with your ex. So, I think this is God's way of telling you that you two won't be a good match. Your ex is actually helping you. You know, what if you two get married anyway and along the way things got ugly and probably lead to divorce? So, just be glad of what happened and try to make peace with your situation now.

    List things that you can be grateful for instead of thinking about your ex all the time. It won't make you feel any better, then why linger to that kind of thinking. I mean, it has been 1 year, you should be able to move on by now because your ex doesn't give a sh*t about you. Just delete him from your Facebook and never ever contact him again. If he contact you, please tell him not to do it anymore because you want to make peace with your life and maybe later you will contact him again as friends just not now. I am sure, he'll understand and this will make you easier to forget about your ex. You should realize how lucky you are having your now boyfriend who loves you and care for you. Don't take him for granted because one day you will realize how you treated him and when you actually over your ex, you'll regret it. I don't want you to do that because that has happened to me. Then, what if your now bf's feelings faded for you because you didn't treat him right? Aren't you gonna cry over 2 guys now? It's gonna be harder for you. If you aren't ready for a relationship right now, work on yourselves, tell your now boyfriend about it. I am sure he'll understand. You should love yourselves before others can love you. I know that I am still working on that, it's hard for me too but I am trying.

    • Hey there,

      I completely understand your situation. I dated a guy back in high school and he was my first love. The only poblem was we came from a very strict Indian background. We couldn't be together but we hid our relationship for 1.5 years. When we broke up he was sweet and then all of a sudden he changed and called me crazy and all that jazz. I even contemplated suicide. I feel for you so much.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Had a similar experience with an ex of mine. Contemplated suicide, but never to the extent of your experience. She left me out of the blue after 2 1/2 years because she lost her spark and her mother doesn't like me. It's been six months and I'm convinced I'm never going to be able to forget her. I do all the suggested things- go out, talk to other girls, work out, yada yada. Nothing works. I am convinced that I am never going to feel the same, or even remotely close to the same for anyone else as I felt for her. I feel like he was your soulmate, just as she was mine. Goodluck to you, I hope you find your way.


What Girls Said 2

  • My heart goes out to you. You still think of him and have feelings because it sounds like he was your first love. They are the most difficult to get over. I remember my first boyfriend and when I broke up with him. I loved him so much but he was wrong for me in every way. He cheated on me, lied, used me, was disrespectful & hit me once. After I terminated the relationship, I was severely depressed. I couldn't get out of bed, I was nauseated and stopped going out. After 3 months, I started going out again but did not date for 9 months. I tried to live my life as normally as possible. I still longed for him and my heart ached. It took me a little over a year to completely get over him. When I was at college, I met someone even better and I considered him my true love.

    You are doing the right things by moving forward and living your life. All I can say is time, time, time. That is what you have to focus on for healing. Allow yourself to cry, dream, say it's unfair etc. because it's better than bottling it up. Also, if you're spiritual, pray. I have found great strength in that too.

    Good luck.

  • maybe ur feelings are coming back cus what you had was so strong once upon a time, pherhaps he was ur first boyfriend etc... sometime it might take 2 years or more to get get over someone as they have effected you in a way you can't forget.

    But you need to think of yourself not your new boyfriend or him, focous on yourself be confident and be happy with yourself! independence is the key to being happy, if you can't make yourself happy then no one else will.

    some tips to move on from ur ex, don't have him as a friend on Facebook it doesn't help at all, and he goes to the same uni as u, just try not to run into him make it easy on you, after all its your life no! one should make you feel bad about yourself!