I think about dating and guys all the time, it needs to stop?

so i have never been in a relationship, nothing even close, 99,9% of the guys i have meet that also showed any sexual intrest were guys out on the town (aka drunk people), i know guys have had crushes on me, but non of them have done anything about it (that made me think people were just making it up), the guys i did want and asked to hang out with etc didn't want me back.. So that the short verison of my "love life" that not even existent.
Even thought all this crap happens, and i never meet guys outside the club/bar arena etc i still go around hoping and looking for someone that could potentially be someone i could date or even be in a relationship with later on. But it never happens and even when i start talking to a guy that kinda cute and seems so nice he just totally turns and revels pretty quickly that he only after one thing, and thats not someone to date. It really effects my self esteem, and it seems like i'm only desired for one thing (i know guys want sex, but im talking about the guys that ONLY want sex and run the other way when they find out im not easy)
So how to stop even thinking about it? I know deep down that no one want me anyway, but i always hang on a bit of hope, hoping that it might change one day. I literally can't ever seen myself in a reltionship at all.. So how to consentrate about other things? i tell myself that i dont need guys etc, but the thoughts just keep comming back to me all the time?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Congratulations, you are a normal female with desires and hopes. Why be surprised that guys keep getting on your mind? That is nature at work.

    My first piece of advice is get out of the bars and get into other places. You want to catch men living their lives, as they live it, to see how they live it. That will help you assess their relational potential.

    My second piece of advice is make friends who are male, for no other reason than because you can. You don't have to like them, or even date them. Just friends. This will help your social wiring dealing with men to improve, and some of those friendships could evolve into more, but they don't have to.

    My third piece of advice is don't be afraid to initiate if you find someone worth initiating on. Seize your own happiness, don't let waiting around for a question turn into waiting around for them to walk out of your life.

    Good luck!


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What Girls Said 1

  • You're 19. You've got a lot more life left to live. To already give up and say you'll never meet someone seems a bit silly if you put things into perspective don't you think? It's normal to think of guys and it's normal to want to date/be in a relationship. What you need to do is learn to chill and to enjoy being single for now. You don't have to stop thinking about being with someone.. it's a good fantasy to have BUT just don't allow your life to revolve around it. Learn to be in love with yourself and realize that you do not need a guy in your life to make you happy. As someone who have been in several failed relationships in the past year I've learned that people glamorize relationships often especially if you are single. It's easy to think your life will be 100 times better with someone but it's not always the case.

    So just just your best to relax and work on your self esteem. You shouldn't feel like no one wants you. You should feel confident because that's when you are most likely to attract guys. Also remember guys our age are most likely going to look for sex. That's why you need to be patient and have faith that the right guy will reveal himself to you within time. Till then be the kind of person you'd want to meet and be with.