Is it better to wait to have sex? Did I make the right choice?

I met a guy. We just started talking. He seems decent so far. I like him. I want to sleep with him but I don't want to mess up things possibly growing in the future. I thought about it and decided to tell him that I wasn't ready to have sex yet. I don't want to do it until a man likes me because the couple times in the past when I had sex without commitment I end up being used, disrespected, feeling empty and hurt. I was expecting him to take it badly and not hearing from him anymore but I was surprised that he said he wasn't that much or a jerk and wouldn't stop talking to me because I didn't want to have sex. He said he respects that. But I know words are just words. I guess his actions will prove if that's true or not. But I think about having sex with him all the time. But I don't think I should tell him that. I want to wait so he'll respect me and not just see me as a quick fix for his sexual frustration. But it's hard not to think about it. Did I make the right choice by waiting and being straightforward with him? Is he going to stop talking to me because he can't get get sex from me right now?


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  • Wait until you two are in a comitted relationship.

    • So waiting is the best choice? I felt good and sad at the same time telling him that I wasn't ready yet. I felt good because I was setting a boundary, protecting myself, and putting my feelings and we'll being first but then I felt sad because I know guys just disappear when you don't give them sex. It seems like no one wants something real or a decent person. Dating is really hard.

    • You do what is right for you and you don't have to justify that. Stick to it :)

    • Thanks. I feel a little better about my choice.

  • If he stops talking to you because of this he obviously isn't the one you'd want to be with anyway, so there isn't much to lose. You say that you have been hurt by having sex early on in the past so you shouldn't question your decision. Wait until you're sure this guy is worth it and when you feel comfortable, you can still have sex. It's not like sex is going to run away ;-) Any decent guy who really wants a relationship will wait for a while. Sure, if you were one of the "no sex until marriage" types that could and would scare some men off, but your decision is reasonable and a guy who isn't a jerk isn't going to object to it or just disappear.

    • You're right. I shouldn't doubt my choice. I should protect myself and people should earn things it shouldn't be just given away. I guess I was just kinda sad because sometimes guys just disappear when you're honest and or not have sex with them. But you're right. I see now that a half way decent guy wouldn't disappear just because you tell him that you aren't ready to have sex yet and you want to make sure that he likes you first.