What did I do wrong? I always do something wrong?

ugh I feel so depressed.
Me and this guy met in Nov. We were going on dates, and we had sex. He just he got out of a 7 year relationship a month before. In the beginning he even said "but I'd like to be with you aside from the sex is what you fail to realize" He even said it would be nice to have a girlfriend but he is looking for someone to settle down with. He texted me every day, told me he likes me a lot. We would hang out without having sex. He talked about meeting parents and maybe taking me to his best friend's wedding in May. He always holds my hand. When I was studying at Starbucks one night he came out to see me, no sex. one day he was acting distant and I went crazy texting him 50 times. he told me he was done. we went a week without talking and then we grabbed lunch 2 weeks ago. he paid, and we didn't have sex. The next day I invited him to my new years eve party, and he declined. he then told me he's not looking for a relationship. I asked him if there were feelings and he said "I did have feelings" and he said "Idk what I want and I dont want to lead you on." Then I asked if this was my fault and he said "it definitely isn't you" Then we ended up talking about meeting up to have sex and hang out. Before we met up he seemed hesitant and told me that he doesn’t want me throwing this in his face that all he wanted from me was sex. He also told me he doesn’t want me thinking this is anything more than what it is. We ended up meeting up to have sex and then we went to lunch. During lunch he said “you’re the best." Last week I asked him if he wanted to meet up to have sex and he said "can't have class" then I said "when can you" he said "idk shay in class can't talk" then I asked if he still wanted to have sex in general, and he didn't answer. Hours later I apologized for asking and he said "it's ok babe." it's been 3 weeks, haven't heard from him.

1. Did he have any feelings for me? or was I just sex?
2. Did I mess up?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You made two errors.
    1. You went out with a guy who just came out of a serious, long term relationship. He was just looking for someone to be with because he's not used to being single. He needed time to heal, and you shouldn't have gotten involved.
    2. You're too clingy. You text him too much and you keep going after him. If you text a guy and he doesn't reply, text him one last time later and then leave it, otherwise its sad. This info will help you in later relationships.

    He did have feelings, but not real ones. He was just looking for someone to fill the hole in his heart. He was probably quite confused and upset at that time and maybe regretted it afterwards when he finally came to terms with things. When he came back again he was probably trying to make up for ditching you and maybe was feeling a little lonely again, after all he's still hurt from the break up.

    This happens to many people after coming out of a serious relationship. Just leave him. He, in a way, used you, not intending it but he needed someone to replace his girlfriend and you filled that space. Just forget about him and move on. But remember the experience and the things that you've learned from all of this.

    Hope this helps! :)


What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, you messed up. Move on now, don't call/text him again and if he contacts you tell him you're done.