How many dates before a girl feels you SHOULD be exclusive?

I have been on three dates with one girl, and I really like her and it's going well. But I had another girl ask me out today and said yes. I have only seen the first girl like once a week so far and we are still just getting to know each other I feel like (we met on tinder), I should note that we text all the time, and not just stupid stuff, really good stuff.

This new girl is a girl I work with who I had a crush on for a while, I never made a move because she is super pretty. But she actually made a move on me and asked me out.

I guess I am asking, should I cancel this new date, because honestly I really do like the first girl and I don't want to hurt my chances if she would be upset I was seeing other people. And I am wondering if I was just thinking with my 'other head' with the girl from work. Or would she be okay with it because we are still not that involved?

  • She would be upset if you were stills seeing other people
    Vote A
  • Don't worry about it if you never said it was exclusive.
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • To my understanding, No one expects to be exclusive. It's a decuiion people make together based on how things are going.

    It'd depend on you and her and what was going on... And it can only be decuded between the two of you. Not strangers.

    As for your oreducament. You are free to date as many people as you like. Some prople multi date others don't. Neither has to do eith bring exclusive. Some people only want to get to know one oetsin at a time. You're not exclusive you can walk away anytime it's just simpler. For some.

    I don't know if she's dating others rookie ir just you or if she thinks you're dating other people or just her.

    You should tell her you'd like to continue getting to know her bit let her know you are currently seeing somrine else.

    She may not want to continue seeing you or she may not care at all or she may be relieved bc she's seeing other people or she may be s bit disappointed but still intersted.

    Just give her a heads up for good measure:-)

    • I guess I have always been more of a date one at a time, but I have never really had options at the same time before... I feel like straight out saying I am seeing someone else might be a bit much though? maybe just see how she feels about exclusivity, thanks.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • you didn't do anything wrong, but i know if i were the first girl, i would feel a bit bad... i mean, it's totally your right to date multiple people, but no one wants to know that they aren't the only one, you know? you're weighing your options- but people don't want to be thought of as options generally.

    • Thanks, I think this is kind of how I feel.

    • No prob, hope you have a better idea of how to go forward

What Guys Said 2

  • If you plan on getting exclusive with the first girl than you gotta make a decision. Do you still want to see the first girl or do you want the new girl. You been on a lot of dates to not know a lot about her. Take her out to dinner as your next date.

    • I mean I know a lot about her, but I just feel like it takes a lot more than that to really get to know her as an individual, I have only seen her in person three times.

    • See if she wants to chill at your place or hers. Like watch a movie or something then maybe ya can talk more.

  • Perhaps let the first girl know that you are dating others right now and still want to see where this goes.

    But no, you didn't break any rules.

    • I mean the poll isn't really good (no offense). You didn't break any rules, but at the same time, she still may be upset (likely, she will be if she really likes you). "Upset" is just an emotion we feel when an undesirable event occurs or is revealed - it doesn't necessarily mean that that event was unfair or immoral (i. e. you can be upset that you failed a test, but it was still fair). But to avoid further complications, that's why I am advising you to let that first girl know now to not get her hopes too high. That way you maintain integrity and morality.

    • Though I'd say after a certain period of time, even if exclusivity has not been established formally, and you all of a sudden start dating others, then that is somewhat immoral, especially if you were to not tell her and go out on your own and start dating a second girl behind her back because "we never established that we were exclusive". I'd say after a month you should avoid it, two should be the latest. And if you do decide to date others after two months of dating one girl, tell her that (but don't be surprised if she suddenly loses feelings for you - that's a risk you WILL be taking that increases the longer you two have been dating).

    • Hey ya thanks. I think this sums me up well. I don't think anything is wrong with it, rationally and consciously you can't hold it against someone else for seeing someone else when you never said you were exclusive, but you still might hold it against them some due to hurt feelings. Ya I feel like straight out saying I am seeing someone else would shoot the whole thing down, but I get what you mean about saying something, maybe I'll find away to figure out how she feels about it, and if need be make it clear that I don't see us as exclusive.

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