I will never be good enough for any guy?

My heart hurts, I can't get over this.
Me and this guy met in Nov. We were going on dates, and we had sex. He just he got out of a 7 year relationship a month before. In the beginning he even said "but I'd like to be with you aside from the sex is what you fail to realize" He even said it would be nice to have a girlfriend but he is looking for someone to settle down with. He texted me every day, told me he likes me a lot. We would hang out without having sex. He talked about meeting parents and maybe taking me to his best friend's wedding in May. He always holds my hand. When I was studying at Starbucks one night he came out to see me, no sex. one day he was acting distant and I went crazy texting him 50 times. he told me he was done. we went a week without talking and then we grabbed lunch 2 weeks ago. he paid, and we didn't have sex. The next day I invited him to my new years eve party, and he declined. he then told me he's not looking for a relationship. I asked him if there were feelings and he said "I did have feelings" and he said "Idk what I want and I dont want to lead you on." Then I asked if this was my fault and he said "it definitely isn't you" Then we ended up talking about meeting up to have sex and hang out. Before we met up he seemed hesitant and told me that he doesn’t want me throwing this in his face that all he wanted from me was sex. He also told me he doesn’t want me thinking this is anything more than what it is. We ended up meeting up to have sex and then we went to lunch. During lunch he said “you’re the best." Last week I asked him if he wanted to meet up to have sex and he said "can't have class" then I said "when can you" he said "idk shay in class can't talk" then I asked if he still wanted to have sex in general, and he didn't answer. Hours later I apologized for asking and he said "it's ok babe." it's been 3 weeks, haven't heard from him.

Was I just sex to him?
Did he have any feelings for me?
Please explain.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You girls, wonder why you get hurt all the time, if you didn't give yourself up for sex so easily, these situations wouldn't happen to you. Sorry to say, its your own fault. why do you go on dates with a guy, and then give him, do you really think that will make him love you.

    Its really simple, if you don't want to be played or used, don't be an easy target by giving them sex.

    This what you should do when you on a date, get to know them, have fun. decide whether or not you like the person, and then go into relationship. Once in a relationship, wait for a while, before diving into the bedroom.

    Going on a date with someone, does not mean the person loves you. Love takes years to develop. If a man really loves you, he will ask you to marry him. Believe actions over words. Words are cheap nowadays.

    You have to be stupid, to trust anyone straight away, you have to be your own investigator, and decide whether or not this person is worth having in your life.

    Don't invest more than you can afford to lose. While it's important to move forward, you need to take things one step at a time. Don't put so much out there that you'll be emotionally bankrupt if things go south.

    Don't beat yourself up. You got through your last experience, you've learned from it, and now it's time to move forward. "You'll move on and be a champion in your next endeavor as you did in your past... Life is not a success-only journey. You are going to get beat up along the way."

    • Know that you will get hurt if you're in a relationship. There is no perfect person without flaws. Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He's going to hurt your feelings. He's going to say things that you don't want him to say. He's going to do things you wish he wouldn't do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ''I'd rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone." If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Ah, it appears that your instincts might be right. He probably was about the sex. Some guys are good at fooling themselves into thinking they really do love a girl, only so they won't feel bad about using them for sex. When that self-deception wears off, they can choose to continue deceiving her, or salving a sliver of decency and leaving. I can't imagine doing that to someone. I like sex as much as any guy, but I couldn't live with myself doing something like that. Any woman that accepted me like that, I would fall in love with her in spite of myself just because she digs me enough to sleep with me. Anyway, I think you're good enough. You're not the wrong one here, that makes you good enough. I'm sorry you're hurt. It will get better eventually. Take care.

  • People always question why they aren't good enough after they get out of a bad relationship/fling with some asshole/bitch. It's horseshit!


What Girls Said 1

  • You shouldn't feel that way, but I know it's hard because I too was in the same situation as you and it hurt too much because what ever I said or did would never change his mind so I had to let go, and I'm glad I did because I ended up meeting an awesome man who really did want to be with m. So I know it's hard to hear but you should just move on because in the end you will get hurt. Even if you talk to him today or tomorrow if he doesn't want to be with you he will go another few weeks without talking to you and leave you hurt and wondering again. Trust me just move on you may be missing on an awesome man that may be out there for you who truly wants a relationship and will love and want you k.