Is this how I'll be in all of my future relationships?

I'm usually kind of quiet, don't like talking a lot, and don't mind having my own space. While I was dating my ex, I became insecure, clingy, and unusually talkative. Was this because:
-He was my first boyfriend/love
-This is how I might act in relationships and just didn't know it because I'd never been in one.
-That's how I was with him, but I won't necessarily be like that with someone else.

  • It was because he was your first boyfriend/love.
    Vote A
  • That's just how you are in relationships.
    Vote B
  • You were like that just with him.
    Vote C
  • Other/see results.
    Vote D
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all it sounds like you are a very analytical and intelligent person, which is great! Because you're analyzing the relationship and yourself. With that said I think the questions you should really be asking yourself are:
    1. If you felt you were be too clingy and insecure, why is that?
    1A. Were you truly clingy or was your ex actually aloof
    2. As far as talkative, were you simply trying to engage him in conversations, or trying to fill uncomfortable gaps of silence?

    If you are clingy and insecure, that is something you will want to work on. However, if he was aloof or did things that made you feel insecure, that was on him and not you. As for being talkative there is nothing wrong with that, it is great to find an intelligent conversationalist. But if you're trying to fill empty gaps of silence with unnecessarily conversation.

    Well, there's really nothing wrong with that either, but you could simply try to enjoy moments of reflection without dialogue.

    Anyway, those are my thoughts.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Only if you let it be that way. You always have 100% control over your body to shape your own destiny.

    Unless you develop ALS.


What Girls Said 3

  • I believe it was a just with him kind of thing. You learn more about yourself as you date and through dating you change over time and do things differently with different guys. So don't worry about this for right now , your still figuring it out.

  • Dating and relationships are a trial an error until you find a good match. Everytime you end a relationship you learn a little more about yourself. Don't beat yourself up over it, it very well could have been just him and the circumstances. If you weren't being yourself then he probably wasn't a good match for you anyway. The best boyfriend/lover is your best friend and you can be yourself with your best friend. ;)

  • I don't know, darling. This is me, though. This is my personality. Perhaps it is because we are usually shy, and reserved; when we find someone we connect with - that is precious, and we're scared stiff to lose it!