Why did he stop calling?

Ok so I have friends in a band and at one of their shows the bassist for their opening band decided he liked me (didn't know it at the time) Now he pursued me until I gave him my number.

For three days he texted called wanted to see me. Night of the big date came and he didn't call all day. At 9 pm he texted and said, "Sorry got called into work and left my phone at home." We proceeded to get into a conversation that lasted from then until 3:45 in the morning when I accidentally fell asleep.

On Sunday, I texted that I was sorry I fell asleep. At 5 I texted an inside joke. At nine I texted again and simply said, "Are you busy? Am I going to hear from you tonight?" Then I said that I would leave him alone till he texted. (Which was the plan)

Now I have heard nothing. During our conversation he was getting me to do and say things I normally wouldn't. If I refused to answer he reassured me... Told me that he was serious about getting to know me and we both pushed back when an US or a relationship title got pulled out. He said, "I am glad you are with me!" at one point and "I promise I won't hurt you" over and over. He kept bringing up future plans... Flirting intensely etc.

Now this morning I got up and realized that my phone had malfunctioned and for what ever reason he got forwarded every text from last night... Nothing about him but like dumb stuff... Told my friend to bring me McDonald's home type of stuff...

So after I noticed it. I apologized, explained and advised him again that it was on his terms. Exact words (because he is paranoid of stalkers has had one) "Don't worry I am not going to keep texting you and stuff, I changed my default settings." I sent an email saying the same thing, but said: "Obviously you are not interested for whatever reason and that's fine. If you need a friend you know where I am."

Two people told me I did the wrong thing and many others said I was too nice. I know obviously NOT to call him. But why isn't he calling what do I do?


Ok I was wrong in my assumption... he texted "Thanks for automatically assuming I wasn't interested."

I apologized PROFUSELY but I am sure that I lost my chance... oh well Cie la vie


Most Helpful Guy

  • He isn't calling you because he doesn't want to. It sounds like he is good at flirting, but that isn't necessarily because he feels chemistry with you, he is just good at it. He probably talks to other girls as well. I was in a band for many years and know that at any given time I probably have 4 or 5 girls that I could talk to. Being up his ass with the "why haven't you called me" doesn't do anything positive. Telling him you're going to leave gim alone doesn't do anything positive. Instead of telling him you're not going to talk to him, just don't talk to him. If he misses you, he will call you. You're 100-times better off if you make him come to you.

    • I have dated band guys... I've been the one in the band... one of my friends is so good at this crap he's got a person just to answer text messages during shows, but he never shows preference and he (nor any of my other band friends) ever gave the impression that there was more there... this guy did what was the purpose ESPECIALLY when he was the one saying it was more and I said I knew better. (First conversation he called after that)

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