How do I change my mentality about "being with the one"?

I'm an Asian. All my life I've been kind of a funny shy kinda guy. And I've never had a girlfriend.


From childhood, I have this mentality that girls are like angels, they are sweet, pretty, beautiful, caring, loving and they should be loved in return and taken care of.

It sounds cheesy, yeah I know!

Since I'm a shy guy, I've not been able to approach or ask out any girl on a date. I know what a puss I'm, you don't have to point it out.

Since I've been unsuccessful in the love-life business, lately I've decided that I will not give my 2-cents about love-relation things and instead I will focus on other guy-related things like hanging out with guy friends, having fun, playing games and programming. I'm quite the whiz (Nerd Alert!) when it comes to computers and coding.

I'm having fun and I feel better, I won't deny that. But once in a while, actually once or twice (or thrice) a day I feel kinda lonely. I wish I had someone to talk to, to care about, to share everything. I guess my loneliness has to do with the mentality I have about girls, that they are like angels and the painful reality that I don't have an angel in my life.

I thought, to get over this lonely feeling, I will need to change the way I think about girls. And so I tried various methods, and it worked but only for a day or two or few and I was back to square one with my fairy tales and angels. It didn't work. I just could not think low of women.

So my question is, how do I do this? How do I change the way I think about girls? Because I don't think I see girls the way most guys do.

I know no one likes to read such long post but I wanted to explain it so yeah. No worries though, I will try to figure out a way on my own.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why would you want to change that? You seem like a really nice guy and I'm not sure changing your perspective would do any good... You can try but personally I feel like all guys should have your mindset and some girls can fulfill what you're looking for even though a lot of them won't. You always hear girls complaining that guys always want just a hook up so girls wait to have sex however long that may be to protect themselves... Well one of my guy friends recently said that guys need to be cautions too when it comes to women so I had to ask him why... He said there a lot of girls that date someone only for a "free meal" or they just like the free gifts that come with a boyfriend or theyre using you until they find someone that they actually like because they just dont want to be alone... Some of them are just after the money (like his ex was) or the confidence boost of having a man around. Women can be really cruel when they wanna be. Not sure if that helps but just something one of my guy frineds had mentioned to me once.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The only way to change your perception towards the female populace is to infiltrate their lair and mingle with the ladiessssssssssssssssssssssss haha. Get to know their mindset not by theory but through practice. Be friends with them.. If you know what I'm saying.

    • I do understand. I've a lot of female friends. But I haven't encountered or witnessed any occurrence that would help me change my theory, unfortunately.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Awww thats so cute

    • Thanks. I guess so. But this cuteness isn't worth the emptiness I feel in me though.

What Guys Said 0

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