Be honest. Am I being insensitive here?

Hey guys,

The guy I'm seeing is generally a busy guy and of course when he's at work I don't expect quick replies. Anyway over the last week he's taken ages to reply, he's been ill here and there so I'll let him off to an extent. Plus he called me last week although he was losing his voice.

Anyway He sometimes takes like 5 hours + to reply, or he'll read my message and reply the next day or not at all. He tried to continue our Friday conversation on Saturday, but the moment had passed. By this time he said he was feeling a lot better. Even when he starts the conversation I think why do I bother when you don't keep this up.

Yesterday he read my message, didn't respond, then texted me to say he's feeling ill and not ignoring, so I sent Him a sweet get well message. I didn't expect a reply, today I ask how he is and he responded within 10 mins to say he was going home early, then didn't respond to my next message... This was 5 hours ago.

It could be because he's ill I don't know. It's really annoying since I rarely start the conversations and when he starts one I think maybe he'll respond this time round and then he doesn't.

Texting annoys the crap out of me as it is, but its convenient at times. Should I just play it cool and see if this is only because he's I'll and continue to check in to see if he's OK?

Can I just point out that over the last week he's been 'chilling with his friends' on 2-3 occasions and he attended a concert. So its not like he's been bed bound. Why initiate and text me when you are at your friends if you are busy in the first place?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would continue to play it cool, only because you have no reason not to at this point. He's not your boyfriend, he's not standing you up for dates or anything else extreme that would warrant a "chat," it's just annoying texting habits.

    I'll agree with you, these habits can be super annoying so I'm not down-playing it, I'm just offering some perspective. I think it would make more of an impression if you started a little bit of monkey see, monkey do. Stop being so convenient to text lol he's not feeling this frustration because you're a good texter.

    I'd detach yourself from him a bit, and adopt some of the same behaviors. Take 5+ hours to respond. Don't respond at all sometimes. Sometimes respond promptly when you want to. Don't make him a priority because he's not making you one, (The ill excuse is BS. He might be ill, and he might be a shitty texter, but I don't think he'd be too ill to text back if he had his attention on you 100% and was serious about forming a relationship). I

    It's not game playing. It's fairness, it helps you detach a bit from the situation, and it helps create a space for him to come your way a bit more. You know if he doesn't step up his communication that he wasn't that serious to begin with. Because that's saying he can't put up with the same communication he's been giving you.

    • Also, the guys always want to jump to the defense of men and come up with excuses for them in these situations because it's beneficial for them and they're thinking of times they may have done this lol HOWEVER, when you get played, they'll be the first ones to tell you that you should've recognized the signs from the beginning. You can't always listen to that, they have a bias to defend their own gender, but have never actually dated their own gender.

    • Show All
    • Haha. Thanks again. Today I wasn't taking things too well (mostly cos of pms) anyway out of nowhere he messages me out of nowhere. So I've left him to stir a little :)

    • Good for you! Him contacting you is kind of proof of how this whole thing will work if you step back a bit. He'd gotten comfortable with the arrangement, but as soon as you're no longer there waiting immediately, he'll be forced to show his true intentions (but walking), or stepping it up because he's aware of his behavior.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Sounds like a load although he did kinda sound like shit.

  • Insensitive.

  • He's sick... cut him a break. You can't judge things on how fast you get a reply!


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