How do I deal with being someones rebound?

My first love rebounded me, cheated, and lied for her ex boyfriend, and left me for him and is with him to this day.

I literally cannot fathom how i allowed this to happen, and i feel pathetic for loving someone that could so easily just leave and not look back. We dated a year, and broke up a lot over issues that always concerned him. But she always begged for me and told me she'd change..

I am so broken and destroyed, im sitting here missing her, while she's with her old boyfriend again, having great sex, and not giving a shit what she did to me. FML.

Maybe i was too nice or something..
How do i deal with knowing the love of my life, left me so quickly, while im still mourning the relationship i had with her? She had him lined up and ready to go after she left me, and i have nobody..


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She's a b*tch. Her behavior was a reflection of how SHE was messed up in the head, NOT a failure or inadequacy on your part. I'm really sorry. I hope you can move on quickly. Whatever you do, DO NOT TAKE HER BACK. Rebel in the last laugh and knowing you're wiser now. Learn to break things off when you see the first red flags. Good luck.

    Would you look at mine please? Thanks!

    • But is she really a bitch? Was i too nice to her or something? The thing is, she'll post things on Facebook about loyalty, and how "You can treat someone like gold, and they'd walk all over you." But she did all the things she's crying about that he's doing to her, to ME. It kills me..

    • Yes, she is. Please don't take this as a reflection of yourself. I guarantee normal girls would never treat a guy like that. You deserve so much better and I'm pulling for you.

What Guys Said 1

  • To add to your response to @Flourish, yes the girl that did this do you is really a bitch. From an outside perspective, and without trying to sound disrespectful or blunt, you've idealised her into something she isn't because you feel you love her. Once you move on, which you will, you'll realise what she was and how pitiful her behaviour has been (not yours - perfectly normal to feel somewhat lost in this situation) and find someone who treats you with the respect you warrant.

    Please try to appreciate that it doesn't really matter that you don't have someone lined up. However old you are, between 18-24, there are still countless people that'll come into your life and there really is no need to get caught up in thinking you need someone now. Try not to rush finding someone new either - get your own thoughts back on track before anything else.

    Absolute best of luck in getting through this, must be tough but I'm rooting for you.

    • For future too, if you get involved with someone who still has some kind of feelings for her ex, and she fights with you about it - that's one of the biggest red flags a relationship can have, in my opinion.

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    • Also, a lot of my friends tell me to make her jealous by getting with someone new, but i just can't see myself with ANYONE right now. I wish i could, but i love her too much right now..

    • You can't really put a finger on how long it takes to move on, it'll just happen when you come to terms with things with yourself. It'll reach a point where it hits you that feeling so much pain for something not entirely in your control is more trouble than it's worth and will just serve to keep hurting you, and what's the use in that?

      Do whatever you can to take your mind off things, going and getting with someone for the sake of it probably won't help. Talking to someone might be good to help rationalise what you're thinking, and realistically what would making her jealous prove? The best thing you can do is get whatever trace you can out of your life and try and think about how you don't need to torture yourself over something that you can't help. She's played games with you and that means from the outset she isn't worthy of whatever love you think you feel for her. You'll wake up one day and stop missing her and you'll feel miles better for it.