Hi guys. Basically I'll explain the short version because there is a lot of detail and it would be a bit of a drag to read the WHOLE lot.
I became friends with a woman who started at my job, soon after we began an affair for 8 months, until yesterday. She has been married for 9 years. At first it was all about sex, the sneaking around and the fact no one else at my place of work knows after almost a year. Then the husband found out through messages he saw while snooping through her phone (The husband isn't innocent himself, he also had an affair not long ago).
I love her, she told me she loved me. Yesterday she called me and was on loudspeaker as her husband was with her and she said "Don't talk to me, don't look at me, we're done, ok?" I replied "ok". It was so obvious she had been told to say that as she sounded nervous and sounded like she was reading a script then he took the phone, tried making threats blah blah, which didn't bother me, I knew what I was getting into. She is back to work next week and I don't know how to act, I don't want to be completely ignored considering we always speak, always have a laugh, she always messaged me saying she "missed me" etc. Now she's blocked me on Facebook, deleted my number, which I know is completely understandable considering what's going on now.
My point is I feel heartbroken. I don't want to go to work and just be cut off without an explanation. I'm so confused. I care for her deeply. Yeah she had an affair but she is not happy at home, she cannot leave her husband because they have 2 children, money tied up in the house etc. I need to move on but I need some good advice.
Any help would be appreciated. Please no horrible comments because I'm already feeling empty.
Most Helpful Guy
I think you could use this as a reason to avoid any situation like this in the future. Any kind of betrayal is most likely to end up in hurt.
You may feel strong feelings for her, but you don't love her. Why? You wouldn't put someone in that situation if you loved them. You would care for them too much. I know you feel bad, but you have to accept you contributed to put her in this situation with her husband to begin with.
I would just apologise to her and just remain friends. She will make it clear if she wants to leave him for you, but you shouldn't be putting her in this situation. If she wants to be with you instead of him its up to her to sort that out BEFORE anything happens with someone else.2