What is wrong with me? What am I?

I am struggling with a weird identity problem. I think (read on) I know who I am, what I can, I am fully aware of my flaws. I don't want to list my flaws or good sides, but people have a very positive opinion about me and like me, classify me as a very special person who usually is the ice-breaker. Random people would come up to me telling me I am beautiful - and yet, I never have had any kind relationship at 25. Don't think of me as a girl who is scared of commitment and love, the opposite is the case, but for someone SPECIAL. I just want butterflies.

My lack of experience reached a ridiculous state, where I don't even pass stage 1 of dating, you know, like being in touch all the time, calling, looking forward for other dates and kisses... lot of guys would break off contact even before a first date, god knows why (Not being nagging or clingy, quite the opposite) or "wrong" people fall for me. Not being picky, but I don't want to waste our time when I know that cannot work out. I know what I want and I know my deal-breakers. Not trying to show off, Just to disassociate myself from the naive, stupid girl, shy, wallflower - image.

It's sad to see people having relationships on the row, like it is nothing, and other people like me are struggling so hard. We are sexual creatures, being loved is part of our identity and when your self-perception or those of my friend don't correspond with our opposite sex' resonance, you end up feeling just sad. And disappointed. And confused. "What is wrong with me?" but everybody would tell you how freaking awesome you are. Great.

(not an English native, so please have mercy)


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What Guys Said 1

  • i wish i could have a relationship but loneliness has played a big part in my life and most people either call me 'freak' or are scared of me.

    • it kills me on the inside and has caused depression, misery and anger.

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