How to get the guy I want? I have no success with guys I find attractive?

How to get the guy you want? im a semi-experienced virgin, im 20 years old, i have never really dated or been in a relationship, and some of the reasons for this is because im simply unsecure, i dont know, or i didn't know what i wanted and that that i might haved had some high expectations toward the guys. But now i have become more realistic in terms of dating and relationship, but i'm still insecure, and i want to try to at least see if i can get the guys i want even if im a bit insecure about myself.
I have a pretty good clue on what i want out of guys you could say. I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship, but just a guy that i can date. I want him to be attractive, he should be in good shape (im in good shape, so if he's weaker og slimmer then me thats kinda turn of in turms that i will feel masculine) and just a guy i can be myself around and that i can have fun with. I think i found this guy, or at least when it comes to looks. We are in the same lift weight club, and he's really fit and his tall and his cute. He showed som quite some interst in me, but we haven't actually talked. But since im so insecure i start to avoid eyecontact and that could indicated to him that im not intersted. So how can i get closer without being obvious about me finding him attractive? i mean if it goes wrong and i misread his signals it could be very awkward going to the gym since im there almost everyday


Most Helpful Guy

  • you dont get people you want because they dont want you anyway you have to have something worth wanting to begin with and your just undesirable

    • i know dont "get people" just because they want me or because they find me attractive. and i dont get what you're trying to say... what do you mean by "you have to have something worth wanting to begin with and your just undesirable"... learn how to use punctuation and im guessing you ment "you're" and not "your"

    • Show All
    • lol... whatever

    • That's exactly how I feel about the matter as well. You worry too much about things you don't really need and your desires get the best of you far too easily. You need to relax, sometimes you want things that you cannot have, but that does not mean that you will never find something that you will want that you can; one should learn to move forward instead of feeling the reality of the disparity between their wants and their actual states. It's unhealthy, you know.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Act sexy-flirty-sluty aroubd him (i not just say sluty im not saying you act like just kind of) flirt really hard i can give you techniques that can help you a lot if you want

    • thanks.. but its not reallt helping lol... i think you have to remeber im insecure, so i dont know/i feel uncomfortable acting sexy or sluty just because i dont feel my looks are the best

  • I think you should be confident and approach him...😊

    • and say what? lol i only meet him at the gym and the last ting i want is to interupt his workout

    • Seduce him I think... never been in relationship so don't know about it.😶

What Girls Said 1

  • Play it coooool. I may not be very experienced but guys will know and will find out that you are into them. But this isn't the problem. Communication is key. You can muster up some courage and talk to him like a friend. If things work out, you can start off as friends then move on to a serious relationship.
    Honestly, being a virgin is not something you should be ashamed of. Take everything easy. Remember, mutual trust and effort builds up the relationship. There will be a guy that will like you for your insecure self. All the best! :-)

    • yeah.. i should talk to him.. but some in the club are going to arrange something next weekend so i might be able to talk to him then. And i'm not ashamed of being a virgin, at then end of the day i chose to stay a virgin, i could have lost it years ago. But thanks, i will try my best :)