How do I get guys to see me as more than just the girl that seems like a buddy rather than a girlfriend?

Guys always tend to see me as the girl they want as a close friend. I'm not complaining, I love having guy friends. But how do I get guys to see me as someone who is girlfriend material instead of just friend material?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is going to make me sound like a shallow, judgmental bastard, but it would be neglectful of me not to raise the question. I try to take pride in being brutally honest with people and addressing those concerns that everyone has on the tip of their tongue but no one actually says.

    I'll be straight with you. I'm not a very attractive person. I'm not fat, I'm just kinda ugly. I've had some pretty negative experiences with the ladies because of it. I've found myself in that awkward "gay guy friend" position a lot of times where, because I actually listened and expressed concern for their problems, I was a snot rag and a source of insight into the mind of other guys for them. When I tried to actually make moves, my credit was declined. No self-respecting girl wanted to be seen in public with me. I ended up internalizing it and it took several years to shake off and build up the confidence to keep trying. I eventually found what I was looking for and so did she.

    I don't know if you're having a bit of the same problem, but guys can be shallow too. Keep that in mind.

    Speak up! In today's dating climate, it's unreasonable for girls to expect guys to approach them all the time.

    • Cool, I appreciate the personal story. Thanks for the honesty! Yeah, I guess I really shouldn't expect the guys to make all the moves but I'm not that aggressive of a person so it's gonna take some getting used to.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • By showing them that you have an intimate side as well
    i think you are too comfortable with guys and if that happens most guys end up friendzoning the girl

    • Yeah, I think you're right.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well, flirt. If you don't show you're interested they will see you as a buddy.

    • Hmm... that makes sense but I kind of flirt with all my guy friends for fun.