Okay Internet, I was casually talking to this guy for about five months. We slept with each other once and continued talking for months. He works about 60 hour work weeks and consistently took a while to respond to messages which I was okay with because he would when it seemed like he could hold a conversation.
We do not live in the same town but he usually asks when I am coming into town next and we plan from there. Last time I was back he broke plans with me and didn't provide and explanation for hours. We talked and I replied the next morning in an attempt to make plans and after hours of not receiving a response I called him out on what was an apparent game.
He took hours to respond to that but then sent six messages in a row explaining that he thought I was out of town etc. I responded and continued to get numerous, verbose replies to my short and concise responses. His explaining himself went on for days before he finally apologized instead of giving excuses. I accepted for the sake of ending the argument and he explained how he "really" did want to see me and that he hoped I would let him know next time we were in the same town.
Ever since that I have not heard a word from him and I have not tried to message him, it has been a week. Soon I will be very unlikely to return to our shared hometown due to my work picking up.
Would you be weary of his not trying to speak to me since? I made it abundantly clear I was not mad and literally said I accept your apology.
Would you message first or attempt to make plans again if someone reached out to you again in this particular scenario? Can't tell if my judgements of him playing a game are on point or if they are cynical conclusions.
Most Helpful Girl
You and I are in similar situation. The guy I am/was talking to does the flake thing so much that I'm truly not interested trying to be with him anymore though I do still really enjoy his personality and being around him.
I said to him multiple times, "hey if you don't want to see me anymore or do what we do, just say so, you don't have to keep making excuses to not see me, I can handle it." each time he replied vehemently it "definitely isn't you, you're beautiful and amazing and I love it when we're together and I don't want to stop seeing you" and that he simply forgot he had something extremely important to do on the day we planned to be together, but he still really missed me and wanted to see me ASAP. Even though I believed him, we're all busy, don't double book, get a planner.
I was never mad though, like you, but I was dissapointed and I let him know it. He kept apologizing and I kept accepting, which I realize was the problem, because he kept insisting on seeing me but I knew that even if I did agree, on the day of, he'd make an excuse and flake again. He texted me the other day talking about nothing, and I replied, but he's just so frustrating it's amazing. I don't want to be his GF (though I never was) or his bunk buddy anymore, and though I can't bring myself to block him, (not that he'd notice for a few days) I don't text first or attempt to make plans anymore.
It's been over a month now since I've physically seen him, but we talk occasionally and he still says all the sweet things I no longer care about. What's worse is, we go to the same school and live in the same city.
So yes, in my mind, I think that your guy is playing a game with you possibly to see if he can get you to pop and go off, or keep texting him til you go into stalker status, (don't do it!) and I say just stop trying, let him come to you, and if he does, respond in your own time, and if he doesn't text, move on. Hope I helped. :)0