Should I let him go?

So me and this guy lets call him bill have been talking. He took me on one date and the rest of the times we've hung out have been at his house. I like to take physical things kindof slow because of a bad experience and i told him i wouldn't have sex with him so if he wanted a booty call to look elsewhere. He promised no sex so I stayed over his house twice and we did nothing but cuddle (not even kiss).

Bill claims that he has never been in love. after a couple times hanging out he told me he wasn't looking to settle down. He's attractive and has a lot of girls hanging around and girls he talks to. This was fine by me because i do not want a boyfriend. He's a bad texter and wouldn't reply to half the texts I sent him. He also would never initiate things. I told him how mad it made me but it fell on deaf ears i guess. I left him alone for a while.

Then after a a week or so I texted him and he invited me over. I stayed and again nothing happened. After 4th time i asked why he hadn't kissed me yet (it was driving me insane, like omg is he or is he not interested). He told me he was being a gentleman. So that night (5th time) I went over and we went to bed and i gave him a back rub and leaned down to kiss him and it ended in just some handsy stuff. Him being satisfied at the end but me not so much.

Since then he doesn't ignore my texts like before but he still doesn't initiate anything. He also doesn't like any pics or posts on my Facebook anymore. (his brother does though) I'm a very shy girl with a very prude public image but I would love to be with a man i care about and have him take control. I am not looking for a relationship but I've been single 2 years after a 3 year relationship and I want to experience something other than the bad memories left by my ex. So I want a man who treats me good but that won't want more because a relationship would not be ideal for me right now. I just don't know if Im nothing more than a notch on bill's belt.

also he was telling me all the stuff he thought was cool about my dad, things they have in common, he mentioned how my dad would like him and bragged in a noncocky way about all the good qualities he has that a father would like. Then he found out that i knew he got in trouble with the law (nothing serious his cousin was the one with the actual problem) and he texted me telling me he really isn't a bad person or anything. If he wasn't interested why would he care what i thought?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't want a boyfriend, he doesn't sound like he wants a girlfriend so essentially you don't want each other? From what you have said it's clear to me.

    You should however discuss where you think you are both at, what you want or expect from one another and then you will have a more accurate idea.

    Why guess his thoughts when you can just talk about it with him?

    Do you even know what you want?

    • I am transferring colleges in less than five months to a town sixteen hours away that I love. I don't want a boyfriend because I know I will end up sacrificing my dreams to be close to him. However I have only had one serious relationship that lasted three years. I have been single for two and all my memories are linked to my ex with rose tinted glasses. This wouldn't be so bad except it was a very traumatic experience and I still can't forget him. I know I dont want a boyfriend but I want someone there for me without the same level of love. Being in love and in a relationship would not be ideal for me right now but i want to have a better experience with men. I want a good nice guy to treat me good but not fall in love with eachother i dont want to break someone elses heart and i dont want to get "stuck"

    • Show All
    • Well, you either talk to him about it or you don't. There isn't some magical thing you can do to hypnotise him into making sure he knows exactly what you want. Some guys may be afraid of talking, if they aren't very good at talking, or haven't in there past.

      However soooo many problems come from being unable to talk to there partner, so if you see a future with the guy, its best to just keep things in the open from the start if you ask me. Pretty much every girl who asks a questing on here about dating, or about a relationship is asking guys to second guess a guys thoughts, but the answer is always the same usually, you need to talk. Communication is a key foundation for any kind of relationship.

      The alternative however if you are worried about it no longer being casual is just not to say anything and accept you are just close friends and thats it. That means getting use to the idea he could see someone else and making sure you don't get hurt, if, or when that happens.

    • But I think you are stuck between too worlds, what you really want from him given your situation of moving college soon is most likely not going to be what you want ideally, whether its too casual, or too deep. You just can't get the best of both worlds in this situation I think, especially if you aren't able to talk.

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 1

  • This makes absolutely no sense. You said you wanna take things slow and then get mad when he does. Make up your mind already.

    • I'm sorry I meant take things slow not take them nowhere. There's a difference between playing hard to get and playing never to get. I just can't tell if he is or isn't interested or if he just likes having a lot of girls hanging on his arms

    • For one thing guys HATE girls who play hard to get and all the mind games that go with it. He probably doesn't know what you want.

    • I don't think I'm playing hard to get. It's him playing hard to get. Thats why I'm confused if he knows he isn't going to get sex from me what's the point of keeping me around with crumbs...

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