Why does he think its okay to hang up on me and ignore me for an entire night?

My boyfriend and me hadn't seen each other in two days. We hardly talked all day. I called him he didn't answer. Then he calls me back he has really nothing to say he can verily keep the conversation which is normal for him. He doesn't express feelings or open up. I am trying to maintain a conversation because I miss him. I finally let him go. I text him saying I love you so much I wish i was with you i miss you. He says i love you. I say is that all? he sends? and I say nothing i just need you. He says i need you too but i am glad bc ill see you tomm. i say no i need you emotionally too. i feel like you dont need me. You can go hours with out talking to me and days without seeing me. He tells me i am overthinking it and maybe i am. I say i am not trying to start something I just wanted to tell you how i feel. he doesn't respond for a while. i pick up the phone he instantly starts a fight. He says i bring this up all the time. I tell him i am not trying to start a fight i just telling you thats how i feel. we go at it for a little while. I get really upset and he hangs up and ignores me for 3 hrs until i fall asleep. I leave text messages voicemails u name it. He wakes up doesn't call. I call him. I said how can u do that to me hang up and ignore me. I dont sleep when we have a fight i told you that. He says are you done? I am busy. I said you need to apologize for hanging up. I says no you started the fight. I said fine ill go away if thats what you want. He laughs like i have heard that before. I talk again he says i thought you said you were going away. I go to say bye and he won't say i love you. he says you really think i feel like saying that? I get off the phone and an hour later i call him to apologize. He doesn't answer i send him a text and say sorry... can someone please explain who is wrong, what is wrong. is this all my fault?


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  • Ok, while it's very possible that he is being distant and not giving you what you need emotionally, you sound/look like a crazy person in that exchange.

    Instead of calmly expressing yourself and then walking away if he doesn't give you what you need, you continue to berate him, hound him, and change your mind every two seconds. Calling him constantly, fighting with him, telling him you're leaving, and then calling back again an hour later to apologize. I know this is all in response to strong feelings and trying to do the "right" thing, but to him, you look bipolar.

    As a female, I get where this is coming from, but you have to see how nobody, particularly not a man, wants to be around that sort of crazy behavior. It doesn't make him want to give you more love or spend more time with you.

    If I were you, I'd back off for a few days. Don't be the one to reach out to him. Give yourself some time to think, and some room for him to come to you. After that, CALMLY explain how you don't feel you talk/see each other enough to your liking. If he's worth hanging on to, he'll at least acknowledge your feelings and discuss it with you. If he blows you off again and makes you feel unheard, it's time to call it off. And actually do it!

    • Your so right. i am like crying. I just needed to tell someone all the details and get an outside perspective. I am a very emotional person its one thing i hate about myself. I let my emotions get the best of me. I know this is my fault now. Thank you, you explained this so perfectly. It like you understand bc ur a girl but you also know that i am still acting too crazy. but ur right i am pushing him away. I apologized to him and i am giving him some space. thank you!

    • I get this because I've been in your shoes before and I know I wish someone would've told me how I looked. The exchange is your fault, but how you're feeling about it is not. Space is the best thing right now, but also remember to put your needs first. If this guy brings out a crazy, emotional side to you because he doesn't give you what you need, then you may simply need a different guy who listens to you better. This isn't all on you or all on him.