Should I let her go?

8 years ago, I moved to Mexico. I spent four years there. In that time, I became very good friends with a few people, one especially. She was my best friend, we did everything together. My family loved her, her family loved me. And then it happened. We went for a 2 hour sail to a little cove north of where we lived. We went to shore and explored the cliffs and tidal pools for a little bit, and then we sat down on the white sand and watched the sun set, then we lit a fire. A little while later we went back to the boat and watched the total lunar eclipse. And that's when we kissed. The moment was perfect. We slept together on my final day in Mexico, a few months later. When I got to Canada, we always stayed in touch, but we drifted apart, but there was always a part of me that wanted nothing less than to be right back there with her. Despite my feelings, life took over. I came down to Mexico to visit her two years ago, but that was to show my girlfriend that part of my life before I proposed. I wanted my friends approval. I was secretly hoping she would say no. And I could see the hurt in her eyes when I showed her the ring. Just over a year later, we called off our engagement. I needed to clear my head so I came down to Mexico to see my friend. But now she has a boyfriend, I told myself "Don't do anything to mess it up for her". I owed her that. She did it for me. But last night, she told me everything. She told me how confused she was, and that made me feel so guilty. I can't be the reason for breaking her boyfriends heart, and I could hear her crying in her room last night, and I wanted to make it better, but I was scared we do something and complicate things more. I hate myself for doing that to her. She has a job offer in Canada, and she wanted to know if she should take it. But I can't bring myself to say yes, or to make her give up everything just for me. Above all I want her friendship, and I want her to be happy, even if that's not with me. What should I do?


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  • She could be the love of your life... why would y o u let her go? If she was confused as well then it is not you who is causing trouble. She already was troubling in her head.

    • That's what she said. I told her I felt guilty and that it was my fault for making her feel this way, but she tried to convince me that it was mostly her. There has always been an energy and a vibe between us. Everyone says we belong with each other. But when we are apart (When I am in Canada and she is here in Mexico), It's nice to sit back and remember those feelings, but neither of us commit to the feelings, because we are so far away.

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    • Couldn't agree with you more. I feel kind of powerless. But I told her last night, what ever she decides, above all, I am her friend. And what ever she decides (Even if it's not what I want) I will support her decision, because its what makes her happy. Personal happiness is the biggest thing I learned from my failed engagement, and I try to preach that to others that are going through a hard time.

    • You got it... that is true love. Why would you want her with you if she will not be happy. You know what to do. If she decides for the other guy just remember that there are plenty of women in this world and that there is nothing you can do to change her mind. Good luck!