Why do guy's start paying attention to you when you stop making an effort?

was seeing this guy for 3 months but then he got weird after we were intimate, and we didn’t talk for 10 days. So we have been talking again since last week. Before I would focus on him a lot and not me. When he didn’t reply to a text or didn’t text me I would get anxious, and I would text him. Now it seems the tables have been turned. He texts me and said he hasn’t heard from me all day, and I must not like him anymore. And how he has been replaced. He does not reach out to me all day and then close to the end of the day or night he will text. Now he is acting insecure but I would think if it really bothered him so much he would pick up the phone or ask to see me. Unless its his pride and ego. As far as I am concerned, I am not in a relationship with him, and unless I see him make more of an effort then he really has no right to complain. But it never fails, if I don’t text him then he texts me end of the day offended that I didn’t text him or think of him. Obviously I need to be blunt with him. But I find it funny how quickly his tune changed when I backed off. I didn’t intentionally ignore him. I just figured if he isn’t making an effort then why should I? a few texts isn’t making an effort in my book.



Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm are you with my ex? Haha.
    My ex would be there for me, text me, tell me im beautiful etc. And then go cold, as if he dropped out of existance. Long story short I got sick of the game and would stop talking as well. If he isn't going to put any effort forth then neither am I.
    One night he came over completely hammered and spilled his feelings all over me. Said he knew he didn't treat me right and that he ignored me to keep me interested.
    I've learned, its not worth it. Its just a headache. They just want the chase. There is nothing you can really do to fix it, he would have to fix himself. I would drop all contact!

    • Thanks I kind of figured as much. He liked the thrill of the chase and if at 43 he's still into that, then he's got some real insecurity issues. As far as I'm concerned he has no right to complain if he isn't making a real effort.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Haha I have had the same situation quite a few times with girls and can ask the same question :)

    There is a lot chemistry, we have a great time initially, I start really liking them and then they back off. I get annoyed/disappointed and cut off communication and they are back to calling/texting me "I can't wait to see you again" :)

    People only realize what they want when they are about to lose it, my 2 cents

    • Yes and I'm just wondering how to handle this. I do like him but he has to make a real effort or I will fund someone who does.

What Girls Said 1

  • //if they can't get what they want

    • Agreed... its the chase!

    • Yes he got bored when I started doing most contacting. Now I'm doing none and he is the one texting

    • Yes stop the reply and they will freak ;)