I am talking to this guy who lives in another country for a year via Skype and chat, but now that we should meet soon, he seems distant. Any advice?

I met this guy by chance through mutual friends, but not yet in person. We have really special connection and I would describe it as an emotional, platonic relation which seems that could easily become profound romantic relationship when we meet. Either of us doesn't want to define it before that. But two month ago, he started being distant all the sudden and we don't talk so much as we used to. He still claims he is happy we should meet soon, but he doesn't seem enthusiastic as he used to be about it. The change happened over night... I asked him what is happening and he said he is just overwhelmed with some problems about work and not being in a best mood, He already had such problems earlier few times, but he was not acting like this. He still sometimes says something romantic, but it is not as near as it used to be most of the time... When that behavior started, he acted as if he is mad at me... Our mutual friends think he is scared I won't like him when we meet face to face, because he doesn't feel good about his looks... It would be nice if we could communicate normally as we used to, especially since we should meet... I have two questions and will appreciate any wise answers :-) First question is how should I act? I ignored him when I had enough of his behavior at some points, and he would all the sudden put much more effort in our relation, but not for long... And I don't want games, I did that only when I honestly didn't feel like talking to him... And the other question is why would he act like that? Is it possible he is really scared? Or mad? Though I don't know why... Everyone describes him as an sensitive, honest and kind guy and it seemed he is... Though, he has a problem being open when he has to say something unpleasant. I guess I should wait and see, but I like healthy relations with people and it doesn't seem to be anymore like that. Thanks everyone for answers in advance! :-)

Any other opinion? :)
Guys, any thought?
Will anyone else answer my question? It would be nice :-)


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  • Long distance is diffficult. You should meet each other within 6 months to a year. After 1 year or 1.5 years, you should decide to live in same city. OR you are wasting your life. Don't do it. It is not a realistic relationship unless in SAME city to see if you are compatible and facing every day ups and downs together.

    • Thank you so much 19blondie76! I agree with you! Well, all that is finally possible after a year and now he seems distant all of the sudden, that is what confuses me... And now that we should finally meet and see if it would work out, I trust him less than ever because of that...

    • And he may have moved on and found someone else. Sorry to say. Do not wait for something to happen further. I would be honest with him asap. Tell him you have enjoyed getting to know him over the past year but that you are going to move on as you don't feel he is interested in getting to know you further and you seek a real relationship. Good luck

    • Thank you once again... The thing is I can't avoid meeting him face to face due to circumstances, so that is inevitable and that is the main reason I am still giving him chance... But you are right, I should talk to him again asap and try to clear things before meeting... Maybe meeting itself will clear things and it is near, so that is why I don''t rush...

  • You think he has commitment issues? Most people don't go for romance across the sea?

    • Considering there is a big chance he will live in my country because of work, we could have perspective... Does he have commitment issues, honestly i am not sure... He had serious relationships before, but perhaps now is not ready. He is very emotional, but has issues being open when something bothers him... That makes it all harder...

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    • People who have commitment issue also tend to pick those who are emotionally unavailable...

    • I see what you mean... But I don't think I have commitment issue... Also, he was not emotionally unavailable before... That is how he acts now...