Why do men stare and not approach?

I was in the supermarket and I came across this really handsome guy. I am sure he was checking me out. The moment he saw me he kept looking at my eyes even after I vanished in another grocery section. Again when I saw him on checking out. He was intensely looking at me. I looked back with a light smile -not really a smile. His face was like he was smiling inside.

I got out and lingered in my car- hoping he sees me when he gets out. He just got into his car without looking. I am pissed off because U couldn't communicate with him because I liked him and I am sure he did. I still remember his look!

Why on earth he didn't say anything or at least smiled?

I am shy a bit and feel embarrassed to approach a guy first.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Kind of hard to explain, but in our heads there is this idea that no matter how handsome or good looking or how confident... there is a chance to get called out as creeps or pervs. And it can happen

    Did not happen to me, but I would only approach girls when I have more than just her walking around in a grocery store. If i have a reason to talk to her, I have no issue doing it. Otherwise approaching out of the blue is highly unlikely.
    No offence, but how the hell was the guys supposed to know that you are actually waiting him in the car and he is supposed to come after you and whatever?

    "Why on earth he didn't say anything or at least smiled?

    I am shy a bit and feel embarrassed to approach a guy first."

    Let change that a bit and see things from his side

    "Why on earth she didn't say anything or at least give me a proper smile?

    I am shy a bit and feel embarrassed to approach someone out of the blue like that"

    Waiting in the car part. What did you expect to happen? Realistically speaking. Did you expect him to come out running and jump on the bonnet and scream "stop, I have something to tell you!" ? That is mostly in the movies.

    I respect private space and if there is no strong evidence that there might be something, I don't do it. If it happened to be next to you in line at the cash register, then the situation might have helped and provide context to have him say something or make a comment/break the ice.

    Next time you see him, look again and smile and say hi. Baby steps

    • You're right.

      Unfortunately, I won't see him again. The store is a big one on the suburbs, not in a neighborhood:(

    • Scrolling through my comments... :)
      Any news on this, did you get to see him again?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Should have said something.

    Do you know how many women men stare at throughout their lifes? To approach to only find out the girl is unavailable for whatever random reason.

    Usually men that stare for long but don't engage are either [1] nervous or shy, [2] have given up or are discouraged when it comes to approaching women due to past experiences with engagement.

    A lot of times I find myself staring at women that I'm pretty sure find me attractive but after a few seconds a thought pops into my head... the thought is usually along the lines of..."meh... forget it".

  • Because we are all scared of being rejected or looking stupid.

    When I was single I often saw girls I liked and really wanted to say something, but from a few bad 'fails'... I thought better of it.

    Who knows what awesome ladies I missed out on!

    • Lol same here! I am sure I missed so many guys

  • Because he didn't know you wanted him to approach. You were grocery shopping so why would you want to be bothered when you were clearly busy.

  • Same reason you didn't.

  • I wanna dedicate this song to u ma anon cutie ;3

    • How cute! Thanks a lot for the lovely song:)

    • Show All
    • Yeaah I do!

    • Dis feeling deep inside meh.. knows that i want chu but couldnt bring myself to say it - Thoughts are to tell :/

  • So you always expect the guy to make the first move? Not all guys do.

    • I am from an Eastern country.. it's quite different

    • Hunter goes hungry if it doesn't hunt right?

      Fuck society. Go get the boy!

    • Lol :)

  • 1. They're working
    2. They have boyfriends/husbands/fiancees.

  • Because feminists constantly lecture about how approaching women in public is considered sexual harrassment.

  • Why do women stare and not approach?

    I am shy a bit and feel embarrassed to approach a girl first.

    It goes both ways, some people are confident others are shy.


What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe because they're shy or afraid to be rejected

  • it could be because there shy

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