How can I get over this?!

Back in June my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me it was with this girl he knew online , anyway I got into his e mails and found out they had been meeting and stuff. I told him everything I found and he said he had slept with her and it was a mistake, and after him crying/begging/being on my doorstep every night I agreed to take him back because I do love him and I couldn't just drop 3 years. But now when we fight I just throw it in his face, or if he says he can't see me because he has to work late , I will say something like " oh going to f**k another girl behind my back?"or we will be laying in bed and he will ask for a back massage and I will say " no get your whore to do it for you"

i do it all the time... why can't I drop it :( I know I'm being super nasty but I just need him to know how hurt I still am

what can I do to forget ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Go to a garage sale, buy a bunch of $0.10 dishes.

    Write your anger / frustration / bad feelings on them

    SMASH THE MOTHER F***ERS! Throw them on the ground, slam one against a tree, huck that b**** off the empire state building.

    In all seriousness, this will start the healing process because you can voice your opinion without taking those points to him. NOW! When you cool off and get the steam out of your way, approach him and be like "Look, I'm still hurting, what can we do to fix this?"

    If he is a real man, he will be shocked you approached him and he probably won't know what to do; however, he will give it a chance and work things out with you. If he doesn't it isn't the biggest deal like some other people will say, simply find some way to talk with him. He is hurting too.

    My ex cheated on me with my best friend- the only way I healed was to leave the relationship. I understand you care about him like I cared about her, but sometimes that is the only way to lead a successful + happy + fulfilled life.

    Do what is best for yourself, and give that dish one hell of a throw for me,

    Best regards,


    • I like the anger therapy approch idea! lol

    • Lol thanks man =) I'm not kidding, it really works! I wanna hear someone that has put it to use, that way others will be motivated to try it as well.

      ** NOTE ** - it does require clean up and can get quite expensive. Take your friends with you and you will have a blast doing this throughout the day.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Laughs... I like that comment "no get your whore to do it for you" so deserved.

    I don't think you should forget it. He's been an absolute creep.

    I don't know, he majorly betrayed you, its not something you forget. He didn't even have the balls to confess it to you until you confronted him (but I suppose some small browney points he didn't lie then). I don't know three years are all that worth it when he's done what he did.

    If you've got no shortage of admirers, and ones who are really decient guys, then I'd be moving on.

    If you really, truly and deeply love him, and you now trust him not to do it again, and you believe with your whole heart he is genuine in his feeling of foolishness for sleeping with someone else then you will forget it. Your not there, he has work to do.

  • I say give it some time, get closer to him and stop making comments like that, you shouldn't remind him yourself of what he done if you want to get over it, consider it as a dark era in your relationship that has gone.

    May be it's just me, but I know my girlfriend have had sex with guys when I was just friends with her, and she was still desiring them when we started, we're both sexists and we don't believe that having a fling with someone else is a great deal as long as it wouldn't affect our feelings. We never cheat of course, but I think if I ever did it with another girl it would only make me crave my girlfriend more. And you should really chill it out, you already know she was a "whore" to him, he used her for a fast fling, what you have to watch out for is the emotional cheating, that's what people forget, nothing worse than a man that craves you for sex but has feelings for another woman.

    I say, be his best friend and don't let your relationship stay on the looseness of a girlfriend/boyfriend for a long time, get serious if you're interested in each other, lousy relationships are dangerous and people have to spend most of their time and efforts maintaining them, and in the end one of the two gets bored and leaves or cheats without any legal/religious chains that bonds them or setting them back, that's nasty.


What Girls Said 1

  • You won't ever forget it,in my experience,forget about forgetting it-not gonna happen.

    Its really a question of can you forgive?

    Now me personally,i know I couldn't forgive someone cheating on me,no matter what the circumstances,because I don't see how it can be excused.

    I also know I would behave pretty similar to how you are,if I tried...i would make that persons life hell,i imagine.

    The point is,you are still angry,you are still resentful and you are still hurting...which is natural and noone can blame you,because youve been betrayed and let down.

    So I guess you have some choices...Either you are going to have to work through this together,with you trying to work through your feelings and him either taking it because frankly,he did wrong,or giving you space and time alone.

    Or you decide that you aren't going to be able to forgive him and walk away,you say you love this guy and I'm hearing it,so I know that isn't easy but after someone cheats it takes a VERY forgiving person to ever let it go and carry on as normal.You are only human so don't expect yourself to be mother teresa,but be true to yourself also,you can't forget something like that and I think you are behaving like that because you haven't forgiven him.Thats just my opinion.

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