If I have confidence issues should I start by approaching women as friends only?

Will this help my confidence. If I'm on campus and I see a cute girl sitting alone should I just sit and talk to her? What would you think if a random guy randomly spoke to you? Would it bother you or would you rather a random person sit with you than sit alone?


Most Helpful Girl

  • they'll still know you really want more than friendship.

    • Not true I'm friends with three girls I have crushes on and none of them know. I have a gut feeling they aren't interested and I'm ok with just being friends. I just want them to be happy.😁

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    • One last thing hate to be a bother. She is moving away at the end of the semester (like 3-4 months) is that an issue?

    • you're not a bother, lol.

      is she moving away forever? I would go for it either way.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 5

  • I wouldn't approach as 'friends only'.

    There are basically two approaches:

    - blatant pick up attempts. Lower success rate obvious intentions quick yes or no. In some ways easier because you get a no before emotionally investing at all.

    - chat with everyone around you all the time. Make being friendly and outgoing a habit. Any women you find attractive who are friendly back you escalate to flirting. If they flirt back or at least give 'keep going' signals ask them out.

    In some ways A is easier because you approach confident and it works or doesn't fast. B requires you to summon the confidence to escalate while talking. But whichever is more your style go with that.

    I do not suggest becoming friends before flirting.

    • I meant just to build confidence. Will approaching as friends help or is approaching romantically too different?

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    • I think that if you have friends in your mind you guarantee you present asexually.

    • If I may suggest your biggest problem is you are focused on whether you are 'doing okay' etc.

      Instead try focusing on her. Do you like her? Is she interesting? Do you like her company? Those are the things you should be focused on. Aside from being what you should be worrying about that focus also magically moves you out of trying to obsess about confidence.

  • i guess approaching them asfriends and only it will be a good start to get used to around girls basially

  • Nope don't do that... your deception will only cause more issues

    • It wouldn't be deception my only intention would be friendship.

    • I would just be practicing approaching girls.

    • That's pansy and u will get no respect. Stop lying to yourself. U don't want to be "best friends " with a girl!

      Rejection is a part of life in all facets, not just dating. The quicker u understand u won't be everyone's cup of tea ALL THE TIME, approaching girls will be absolutely non aggravating, and is actually quite an adrenaline rush! :)

      Approach girls the traditional way, in massive numbers. :)

  • with a face like that I'm not surprised you have confidence issues. you can approach them as friends but if you do don't become too nice, too friendly, or show too much interest at once or too early, because with a face like yours advancing to quick only can be perceived as creepy

    • if i were you i wouldn't just sit with a random girl to chat her up. you look creepy AF!

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    • no it would not the same. but in reality you are creepy looking so this is the advice i give you

    • Damn blunt straight forward. I guess I respect that. I'm not sure if I really look creepy but your entitled to your opinion.😁

  • yes and stop asking so many people have lack of confidence, STOP ASKING start acting! ;) Go to her, talk about whatever you want. Good luck!

    No in 99% it won't bother them or they'll tell you and you'll just move on!

    • I was wondering if approaching people as friends will help me approach people romantically? Orb is it completely different/separate?

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    • I'm just trying to build confidence. If anything more happened it would be a stroke of luck and unintentional.

    • stop making excuses... it's like roller coaster, first try it seems so scary after second try you'll get used and after 100, 1000 times you'll be the master. You can ask 1000 questions, but most important is just to go out and be who you are, don't care if girl rejects you..

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