Guys: Is there anything a girl can do to get you to ask her out?

I'm mostly looking for male responses, but female opinions are welcome, too!

I'm a second-year girl in university. Recently I was introduced to a friend of a friend* - (actually, I think they might be distant cousins) - at a New Year's banquet. At first I wasn't terribly attracted to him, but since then we've seen/talked to each other a few more times in group outings and occasionally just around campus. I wouldn't go as far as calling our conversations "flirty", but they're very fun for both of us - something like witty banter. He also calls me things like "sugar", "darling", "honey", which one of our mutual friends mentioned that he doesn't do for anyone else. She also told me that this guy has never been in a relationship before. Somehow I'm pretty interested at this point and I'd like to maybe go on a date or two just to get to know him better. However, I don't want to ask him out because honestly I just don't know him that well yet and all of our mutual friends would eventually hear/know about it. (If the attraction IS mutual, this would probably also be what's holding him back, I guess?)

*This friend/cousin who introduced us is actually a guy who told me he liked me in first year. I didn't reciprocate, but we worked it out and we're fine as friends now. However, I think it'd also weird him out a little if I started pursuing his cousin, or the other way around …

So guys: is there anything a fairly new female acquaintance could do to encourage you guys to ask her out? Especially when there are some friendships at stake?

PS. I am so, so sorry if this question confused you terribly. Please forgive me, and do your best to answer the bare-faced questions at the end...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Not really, other than flirting with him. You can't make other people do things without telling them to. Nothing you do is even close to guaranteed to make him ask you out. If you want to go out with a guy, and you aren't sure if he's gonna ask you, you really have two options. You ask him out yourself, or you sit back and take the risk that he never asks you out. Some women like to be more traditional and wait for the guy. Then they get upset and sometimes even complain if they don't get asked out. That's the risk you take by being traditional. You risk missing out on something great over something trivial. Traditional is over-rated.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I would just continue to spend time with him and flirt more. You can get closer to him or even touch him from time to time.

    One thing that worries me though is the way he speaks and the fact he hasn't dated before. Not that it's a bad thing, but it does kind of sound reminiscent of how some gay guys may be.

  • Be flirty
    Touch him
    Ask how he's doing
    Initiate conversations

    That's about it.

  • Not for me unless you actually say to me " ask me out" because I'm too shy to ask anyone out


What Girls Said 1

  • Kind of mention things you would like to do, like go to a movie or concert, or museum or something, or if he brings something like that up, be like I want to do that too! And you might luck out and he will ask you.
    I got a guy to ask me to the movies, by talking about them, then we talked about a specific one which he wanted to see, and I did too, and he asked me to it. (This was also after 2 months of texting every day) (he was also my cousins cousin lol)