Why am I scared to be single again?

I finally got my first boyfriend. We had made it official early Decemeber, and started talking in October. We met online. I dates in the past, but it never turned into anything more, and all those guys were jerks. My boyfriend now, treats me the way I deserve to be treated.

But after my mom highlighted her concerns, and I know them too, cause they concern me, and I have discussed it with my boyfriend, I just keep worrying if I am in the right relationship. He's an amazing good guy, but he doesn't drive often, which he is working on, eats like caveman, has no manners (which I have been trying to teach him, which isn't my job), and he has no job and lives at home to help his 22 year old brother who is autistic. I understand he had a rough time growing up.

(*Please note I have a question before this asking, how long I should give him to change things around.)

I'm nervous, I love him, he loves me, I am literally his whole world, his days are better with me - This honestly scares me the most now more than ever cause he doesn't have much of a life outside of me. And I don't want to hurt him whatever I decide but I am really scared to be single and alone again. I don't like it, I hate the feeling of loneliness and losing the comfort and affection of a boyfriend. Really no one has ever treated me so well as my current boyfriend.)

Please help, any tips or suggestions would be a great help!

I ended the relationship tonight, I'm actually doing okay, I know deep down I did what I felt was right, cause I am not getting what I need out of the relationship for the future.


Most Helpful Guy

  • In a way, you answered your own question. He treats you very well and you've never had that before. You're worries that if the relationship ends, no one else will treat you like that. That's normal.

    Also, reading to the other answer, it's good that you're confident that any guy would be lucky to have you. Again though, you're worried that no one else would ever see that. Again, that's normal.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • i think it's naturally to feel this way since he is your first, you feel like you finally crossed that hurdle and want it to last long enough so you can consider you have had an official relationship before, anyway, how old were you when you got your first boyfriend?

    • He was it! I was 25, he asked me two days before my birthday, when I turned 26 which I am now!

What Girls Said 2

  • I was going to answer this before i read the update. im sorry you broke up. but im happy that you are confident. I was going to say that this guy he probably grew with parents who had no manners themselves, or just didn't teach him any. I know the feeling of dating jerks and i have been in the same position where i dated assholes who didn't treat me right at all! Turns out i'm now dating my friend i met him 7 years ago! who knew to be honest i wasn't really friends with him til 5 years ago. He treats me with respect, and treats me like any lady should be treated. My parents LOVE him!!! He is perfect for me. Your ex you said that he has no job and he spends his time helping his autistic brother. I find that sweet because he could have a job but he decided instead of making money for himself so he could spend it on himself he decided to spend time and help his autistic brother. That is one brother of him to do that!! Most men eat like cavemen. Honestly, he treated you right like every man should. The reason he has no manners is because he was taught correctly what manners are or how to use them! And he is not selfish he helped out a brother. Autistic, depending on the stage of autism they are not always easy, they range from being nice and act normal to being wild and uncooperative. He may have a brother who stresses him out a bit but will be there for him because he is family. In my opinion from what you said it doesn't sound like he was a bad guy at all. Maybe fight for him back? or go on with your life. whatever you do best of luck.

    • It wasn't just that though. Yes he's great for doing that, but he needs a life of his own too. He doesn't drive, he never picked me up for a date, I did all the driving. He's 31 for crying out loud, his parents should be able to handle his brother. And honestly if you saw what he said to me when we were texting back and fourth, you'd agree I made the right choice. If I felt like it was wrong, I'd still be crying but I honestly feel fine.

    • But I was also distancing myself for a week so it didn't hit me all at once, when I ended it tonight

  • Maybe you are scared because you are just 26 and afraid that once you reach 30 you won't get a guy? But whatever you are feeling don't be afraid it will just make you rush into stupider things and mistakes will be made

    • I'm honestly not worried that I won't get a guy. I'm a great girl and any guy would be lucky to have me. Problem would be finding someone to see that. I'm still kinda shy, every guy I dated I met online, I never met someone in person. And if I were to decide to end things with my boyfriend, I am NOT using online dating websites anymore. I'm done with that s**t. I just met too many bad guys, only like two guys treated me nicely.

    • well in my opinon go out and have fun! I've recently met a guy at work who is 24... i'm 17 by the way. but that doesn't matter because we tease each other a lot and i don't know about him but i def bet the heat rise to my cheeks because of him. I'm not the most prettiest flower out there and he isn't the most attractive guy out there but he is himself around me and same with me.
      & the best way to find someone to see that in you is to hang out with them in person! too see what quirks they have and what makes them blush, smile and laugh! and never date online because you don't see what they are really like in front of you!
      So have faith girl! You can do it!