Guys what's your opinion on the what are we talk?

Can a girl bring up the what are we conversation? How would you feel if she did? Or is it a case of you'll bring it up when you're ready and the girl should just wait?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think asking "what are we" is not the best way to go out it, I think being honest about how you feel and telling your partner what you want gives the best result. Asking "what are we" gives full control to your partner, and when you invest your happiness in things that are out of your control, you are subject to a whirlwind of possibilities. Be honest to yourself, and tell your partner what you want, and have them respond to it. That way they can say "yes I would like that too," or "no I am not ready for that." Either way, it will come from a more honest place because you will have been more honest as well.

    You also must understand that giving your partner full control may be a responsibility they are not ready for, or it may have been something they have never thought about and all of a sudden you force them to make big decisions very quickly (not smart).

    Defining what you want from the relationship and asking if they too would like that is much less overwhelming because in that case they will have something to respond to, rather than being put in a position that in many ways alienates them. The "what are we" talk is always uncomfortable for this reason. It can be worked around! I just explained how.

    • Totally agree with you - "what are we?" is a mutual decision and should be made together through discussion. Saying "I'd like this, would you like that too?" is MUCH better.

      I brought the question up with my current boyfriend and that's basically how I went about it. At that point, though, he had already invited me to meet his parents (which I wasn't comfortable with yet), and it felt very much like we were on the same page, so I didn't have any hesitation about asking.. I knew what the answer was already, just wanted to "make it official".

Most Helpful Girl

  • Tis like the worst conversation to have :(


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What Guys Said 1

  • Of course a girl can bring up the conversation. I think it is an important talk that people need to have more often. Far too often people's relationships stay in a state of limbo because they are too afraid to bring up the subject. Neither knows if the other person considers them exclusive or not, and both people worry about coming of sounding desperate or clingy. A lot of people even use it to justify cheating under the pretense that they didn't know they were suppose to be exclusive, because it was never made official. This is a subject that absolutely must be brought up, as soon as someone decides they want to be exclusive, so there is no miscommunication about what they should expect.


What Girls Said 0

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