Guys, am I ruining our friendship and setting myself up to be hurt?

I met a man, 15 years my senior, through work. We have had a great friendship for the last 3 years. I have always been attracted to him however I didn't feel he would reciperate my feelings as I am 23 and he is 38.
Around 6 months ago during a late night conversation he told me he was attracted to me as more than a friend, I advisrd him that I felt the same however nothing really progressed until a month later. He started taking me on lunch dates at the weekend and spending time with me. I think things moved a bit too fast and we had a short, 3 month, break and again tried to be friends however things developed and he asked to see me on 2 consecutive days. He kissed me and told me how lovely he thought I was. On the first day he took me to the Beach for a picnic then on the second day he took me for dinner and drinks. We had a lovely time and he thanked me for a great weekend. He had also mentioned during dinner that he had told his friend he was having dinner with me. Since then he has blown slightly cold on me.
He also asked if I felt our age gap would be an issue, I don't really feel the age gap between us. We always have lots of fun together and can talk about various subjects, including personal family matters. He asked how my parents would feel about the age gap and also mentioned that he didn't know how his would feel.
Is he getting cold feet again?
He has told me on a couple of occasions that he has liked me throughout our friendship could it just be he likes his own space?
Is there a way to talk to him about this casually?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's fine with it but he's reading your apprehension and backing off. He's doing so because he doesn't want to be constantly pursuing you if you're not interested or perhaps are just interested because it might be a good economic decision to be with him. If you don't reciprocate and try to advance things a bit yourself he'll start to think you're deliberating a lot more and that love may have less and less to do with your choice no matter what it is. Also this seems to have been going in for about half a year now right? You're taking a bit too long at this point. Make up your mind and if you like him, show him by initiating something yourself.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Do nothing, just be what you are. He liked you for you being you. You may need to let him know that he does not want to make a decision that he will regret his entire life as the one that got away.

    It seems all his concerns are social and have little to do with truth or the now. Who cares what others think they do not have to live your life. If he cannot march to his own beat or sing his own song, he has no position next to you.

    good luck,

  • This is a bad idea. That is all.

    • Is there a reason you think it is such a bad idea?

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