What do you do when you have no idea what you want when it comes to guys and dating?

Any advice for a someone that has no idea what they want when it comes to guys and dating? I met this guy and to begin with i didn't really have any expectations towards what would happen, but when we after we got to know eacother more and more, i realised that i expect him to treat me like some he wanted a relationship with, or at least someone that he wants to date.

Now im over him and to be honest i dont care what happens, but when i really think about it i expect him to give a lot of his time and attention even when i didn't really want a relationship. Almost like i wanted him to want me really bad, just to feel really wanted i guess.

After i stoped seeing him or at least stoped caring i dont go around and stress about his every move all the time, and im just in general much more comfortable and in a better mode.

On one hand i would like some sort of friends with benefits kinda thing with him, but then again i dont want to be used for sex,EVEN when thats kinda what im doing to him. On the other hand i want something serious, but i dont know if i really want to go trought that kinda stressful, yet fun, situation where i need to get to know a new person and date them.

So any advice? i confuse myself a lot lol


Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol. Which do you want MORE? I think you should write out the Pros and Cons of having a relationship with this particular guy and having a friends with benefits , then see which has more Pros/Cons. That might help you out.

    Also, if you trust this guy, you don't need to stress about what he's doing, who he's seeing etc .

    Per being used, you're both kind of using each other in the friends with benefits relationship. The only way to not be used more in my opinion is to not be at his beck and call (like if it's 3 in the morning and he says "Come over. I want to fuck"... Don't do it).

    But I would start with that list. :D

    • i want, or i think i want, a relationship with someone.. but i want it to start off as just being friends or something,. i kinda feel its this pressure if we start right off by dating.. lol and i'll try to do the list thing :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Work on yourself. Most people who don't know what they want in a partner, most likely don't even know what they want for themselves. Figure yourself out first. You can only be happy with another, when you're happy with yourself


What Girls Said 1

  • You are demanding because you respect yourself and have high standards. You know your worth and don't want to be taken advantage of. As a result, you may not be trusting of guys, because of the fact that you don't want to get hurt. All of this is normal and my best advice is to chill out and dont Rush into something. Take your time getting to know someone so that foundation is built, trust and respect is there, and you won't have that stress.