Crushing on other people while in a relationship?

I was just curious if other people have crushes on people besides their SO?
I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and I'm so in love with him, so I would never ever cheat. I could never do that to him, because I'm like 100% sure that I'm going to marry him someday lol.
Buuuut, I have a few crushes that I can't seem to shake and I find myself wishing that my boyfriend had come into my life a couple years in the future. I still feel so young and that I didn't "play the field" as much as I could have. I know none of these crushes can even compare to my boyfriend, but I miss the flirting, the chase, and the sexual tension. I want things to feel new again.
I hope this feeling goes away. I wouldn't be able to stand losing my boyfriend, but I'm just so curious about other people. I want to feel this way about my boyfriend again, like I did when we first started dating.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's fine, we can't help who we like. It's normal to have crushes, relationships or not. I know you love your boyfriend, so maybe experiment with him. Role play as people who aren't dating, or hold out on all things sexual besides kissing to build up the sexual tension. You can flirt with him all you want. Let him know that you miss that stuff, so you can bring it into the relationship. Or which I don't know if you would be willing to do, is take a break with him. Explain to him what's going on, and tell him you want to get it out of your system so that you guys can be together better. So during the break, flirt, play the field do what you wanna do, and try and get it out of your system. Or do both, if the first doesn't work, try the second, and vise versa.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yep.

    If I wasn't with my girlfriend, there's about four other girls I know that I'd be going after.

    Unfortunately, miss, you're never going to feel the way about your boyfriend that you did when you first started dating. That "spark" is a chemical reaction in your head caused by the newness, the mystery, and the excitement of it all. Sometimes it fades quicker or slower, but on average, once you've known your SO about two years, you've become comfortable enough with them that the newness, the mystery, and the excitement are all gone.

    You can spend forever chasing that feeling, but you'll never be with anyone for very long if you do.

  • I'll save you from my typical spiel and leave you with just a brief mention of non-monogamy. It's a possibility if all people involved are okay with it. It's statistically unlikely that your boyfriend would be though.

    I've definitely felt the same as you. There's a girl who with just a smile can instantly lighten my mood. I've had a crush on her since 8th grade, but she was dating my best friend until just under a year ago so I quite successfully suppressed it. I actually sort of lived vicariously through him. But then they broke up and it all sort of came back. I realized just how much I longed for her. But I had a girlfriend. It put a lot of strain on the relationship because I wasn't very subtle about it. It isn't what ended the relationship, at least not directly, but it came pretty close.


What Girls Said 1

  • You are always able to keep that spark up between two people. :) Doing things that you once did when you first began your relationship... flirting with him... keep flirting.. and doing different things.. that are *new*... :) Tease him still. Create different aspects in your relationship, and don't allow it to become boring.

    i know the comfort will always be there. It is your job.. and his to keep it exciting. Else.. you will begin looking at others for it.

    Good luck. :) xxo If you want help.. am here.. :)

    • Also it is ok to think other people are pretty or nice looking... just wishing to be with them... is maybe trouble? :)

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