Relationships are too much work?

Am i the only one that thinks that being in a relationship is too much work? My ex an i dated for 5 years and we broke up about 9 months ago. But now that i think about it i dont see my self in a relationship at keast for the next few years because its too much work. When you have a gf specially ( this would be for men) you have to buy her flowers, take her out to eat, pay for her movie, talk to her in the phone for hours or however long she wants to, surprise her, STOP TALKING TO OTHER THE FEMALE FRIENDS, and of course the biggest thing is argue/fight over simple things or big things.

Im not sure if my ex ruined it for me but right now i feel that way and i would like to know if anyone is feeling the same.
  • yes, i feel the same way
    Vote A
  • no, being in a relationship is the best thing.
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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I've seen really good responses here. Lots of great points and opinions!!


Most Helpful Girl

  • what you describe is a bad relationship and your ex probably ruined it for you a bit.
    to avoid this hassle, just stay away from high maintenance princesses that need your undivided attention 24/7.

    Once you are with someone that can function perfectly fine on her own and is only with you because you are the icing on the cake, you do not have any of those problems. Trust me.

    AND when you are with someone great, those things you mentioned will not feel like chores, but you will actually want to do it out of the goodness of your heart.

    • Wow that's a great point! I think you just answered a lot of questions i had in my mind about relationships. And you are right. It felt like chores probably cause of my ex. Well thank you for the comment!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, first of all you "being in a relationship is the best thing ever". that is wrong man. no matter how you look at it, both guys and girls need to work their shit out and get it together for the relationship to work.
    I woulnd't say it too much because I don't regret any of mine. I'd rather say that its a convenient pain in the ass that also brings you benefits.

    And not all girls will forbit you to talk with your female friends. in my opinion that's a sign shit won't work out.

    • Yea that's true i think it goes both ways like you said. But yea you're right if you can't talk to your female friends then Thats a bad sign right there!

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • No. Doing things with or for my partner, spending time talking to him, buying him gifts, taking him out places, etc. have never seemed like work to me because I ENJOY doing those things with and for him. We get along great and rarely argue.

  • Being in a relationship is great for me... you have to think about the other person too.. Plus you have to know how to COMPROMISE..;)

    • The problem was that i was compromised but everything i was doing wasn't coming out of my heart, i was doing it to make her happy. Not sure if that makes sense. But you're right though sometimes you have to compromise in a relationship

    • 1. sit and talk
      2. make a scrapbook of times you have.
      3. set rules, for the relationship.. Say you want her to be truthful.

      Three things to help..

  • It is too much work but I think it's worth it.

    • Not always though. Unless you wanna work your relationship out and do whatever it takes but sometimes it feels like its too much work. At least thats how it was for me in my previous relationship

    • You have to work at a relationship... Its hard some of the time.. but you have to think positive.. Never give up !!!

    • I've to agree with @Trini-Rose on this one. When you really love someone, you don't give up on him. Unless he/she does something horrible towards you e. g. cheating, abusing, etc.

  • Just sounds like you had a bad gf.

  • I've never seen relationships in this way. As long as there's good communication between the two persons in the relationship problems like this don't really happen. I only see my relationship in a positive way and I've never seen it as a burden

  • Man this site has some sad guys lurking in it!

  • Yea, but life is about work. To be fair, I would not expect more than half of those things and the others to some low extent.


What Guys Said 3

  • Correct.. u hadda so everything for her juz to keep her happy. They are too much to handle :/
    Gotta be funny, buy her expensive stuffs and all that. Too much for meh to maintain >.>

  • I think most guys are going to understand how you feel. This is exactly why women have such a hard time getting a guy to make a commitment. The guy sees it as way too much work, with no days off.

    • EXACTLY! You couldnt have said it better man!

    • I hate blaming the media for stuff, but I really think the media is a big part of the problem. It always shows that men have to do all the work to love a woman, and that the woman is just suppose to sit there passively. It is like love is something men do, and love is something that happens to women. I think this is why men are more likely to see a relationship as work than women.

    • Yes i agree! Well as you can see on the poll guys see it as work and women dont. Thats very true though the media is the one to blame. And most of all the movies make women think that a guy will come and is gonna swipe them off their feet and everything he does (the work that we all do) is gonna make them fall in love. Oh well thats life hey? What can you do

  • Yeah... don't do that work. If you can't have female friends and you have to do all this shit then she's not right for you. You were being controlled, don't put up with that.

    • Yea i think i was. Unfortunately i had to stop talking to a lot of female friends cause of my ex and I regret doing that but oh well. The things you do for love some times right?

    • Stupid things. Love is dangerous like that. We should fit in to our lives after everything else. Imho a network of friends should take precedence to a relationship.

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