Why does it hurt if I broke up with him?

I was in a long distance relationship with my ex for almost 10 months. I met him before he headed of to school 2 months later. Our relationship was long distance and at first it went well. We texted, skyped. etc. But as months went by he claimed he was so busy with school and work that he barley had time to even text. He'd sometimes reply days later and when he'd come and visit he still wouldn't see me much. So i broke it off two days ago. Even though he hurt me so much I can't help it i miss him and still want to be with him. I did it for my own good but i feel so terrible. I've never been this heart broken and i know i shouldn't be feeling this way but i do. How do i get over this? will i ever? this is the first guy i ever really truly loved.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been in your boat, and to be honest, still feel the loss even now.
    First loves, when they end, are rough. It takes time and patience and self-love for the hurt to ease.

    I also broke off my first love relationship, not him, as I just felt I was too young for a LDR, and he was becoming too much of a hot mess. It's been a few years, and sometimes I've been tempted to reconnect with him, since we got each other through a lot of rough times and really understood one another, but all I see when I have talked with him since is that I was right... yet it doesn't ease the sadness when I get nostalgic. He's changed to someone I'm simply not compatible with, and I'm missing who he once was, not who he is. Realizing that helps as well as hurts.
    I think he'd be flattered to know he helped set the bar high for any future relationships, though. ;)

    I find comfort in knowing that one day, someone better will come along for me. It's just not time yet. And I'm also happy that I realized it and ended it as nicely as possible, and didn't end up stringing us both along and doing worse damage.
    So curl up, read a good book, cry when you need to cry, and when you feel ready, get back into the dating ring and have fun. Take comfort in the fact it was good enough, when at the best, that the loss of it has affected you so deeply. And know that the best is yet to come - this was just a taste. =)

    • Thank you for the advice! I greatly appreciate it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • No matter who does the breakup, it hurts because you know you won't have what you once had even if you do get back together.


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