Confusing Love Triangle

There's this guy let's call him: Sam

And his best friend: Rob

What's Happening:

Sam and I are FWBs again and have been secretly since September

The Back Story:

Sam and I met last year and were FWBs then too, but publicly. And anytime Sam and I were hooking up -which was a lot. Rob would find a way to walk in on us. Not kidding. Whether we were in his dorm room, mine, in a corner or closet, in the shower! Etc. So legit everytime, he was there. Then, once one party moved into Rob's room, so naturally Sam & I started making out, among like 3 other couples btw, and Rob got dead serious looked Sam in the eye and said 'no. Leave. If you don't leave, I will throw your little girlfriend out the window'.

Then I got tired of the drama. So, Sam, Rob and I just tried to stay away from each other for the rest of the year. We'd ignore each other unless forced into some sort of social encounter.


Last night. It was the 1st time I was at the same party as Sam and Rob since like this time last year. And so I went with a classic ignore Sam but talk to Rob plan. Even though we're FWBs we don't really get a long. He is very cocky and arrogant. So everything was going to plan and I started flirting with this random in front of them just to show Sam, I don't need him.

Then Rob comes up to me and is like 'you're boning Sam!?' And then we argued about that, turns out Sam told Rob that we had been hooking up!

So I texted Sam:

Me: you told rob?

Sam: Sorry. You apparently said you didn't want to say hi cause you don't like me

M: what?

S: According to rob you said you didn't like me

M: and this is news to you how?

S: Ouch

M: its not like you came to say hi to me

M: (after no reply) point proven

M: It is so annoying when you do that! Why do you just not reply?


He told Rob that he and I hook up because I said I don't like him & thus didn't say hi?

And then Rob wouldn't shut up about that and the guy I was flirting with at the party -which means btw, that he noticed.

I don't get them.

To me Rob is either:

1) into me

2) trying to get me to fall for Sam

Why did Sam tell Rob? Was he trying to prove to Rob that he was wrong about me not liking him? Or was he claiming me as his property? What is the deal with Rob?

This is a re-written version of a question I posted previously, I posted this one because the last one was too confusing to follow... Hopefully this one is easier :)


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What Girls Said 2

  • OK, now I think I know what is going on.

    Sam sounds immature. Telling people information that you wanted to keep private is not respectful at any time. Telling them to get revenge that you didn't say hi or made some comment is disrespectful and immature and too dramatic.

    I don't know what Rob's deal is. Maybe he is attracted to you. Or maybe Sam wants you back and Rob is trying to help him out.

    Either way, you can do better than these guys. Who knows what information about you Sam will share next time he is irritated with you? Also, you said that he is cocky and arrogant. If you want a FWB, I am pretty sure that you can do better than this. I would not consider dating Rob because these guys are already dramatic and switching from Sam to Rob is likely to create even more drama. Also, Rob just sounds weird. Even if he does have a crush on you, it is weird that he argued with you about whether or not you are seeing Sam.

    My advice is, don't feed these guys' need for drama by worrying about this situation. They don't sound like they are great friends for you to have. Maybe you should find more mature company to spend time with?

  • Wait, I'm confused.

    As far as the first part, where the best friend would walk in on you all the time, that sounds like a situation where the best friend would be justified in writing a message to this website asking for advice about how to get people to stop having sex common areas without locking the door.

    I don't get the next part. If the problem is that your FWB guy was supposed to keep your arrangement secret, but didn't, then you should think about whether you want to keep seeing him. I don't understand how the FWB guy is related to the other two guys from the first part of the question.

    It sounds like things are pretty complicated!

    • No the only times it was sex was when we were in a designated room, the other places was just making out.

      the FWB guy is the same guy I used to hook up with in the beginning. after my boyfriend and I split, we decided to be FWBs.

      sorry! it's hard to explain, especially since I tried not to use names.

    • Show All
    • Well, I still don't think I fully understand, but I think you should decide what to do about the FWB guy... If you want a relationship with him or if you want to break it off, or if you want to keep being FWBs. My advice for the future is, be careful about having a FWB who hangs out a lot with you and your friends. It always comes out that you are FWB and things get complicated, in my experience. The best FWB is one who your other friends don't know that well, or who is totally discreet.

    • I'm re-writing the question, I'll use names. I realize that without knowing what I know this is pretty confusing