I am going to bump into my ex. This is what I want to do, is it a good idea?

So he isn't exactly my ex really. We got very close over a span of a year, were practically a couple without the kissing or sex. We would hold hands, talk every day, flirt all day, support each other, have lovely dinners, he would send me flowers, tell me he loves me. But at one point we reached a stage where he finally kissed me and I felt like we had to confront what we were. He said he could see us becoming serious but that he didn't want a relationship because he "is in a different place" in his life, that we will never be together, i'm not the one for him even though he likes me (bs excuses). So things ended, we tried being friends but that of course didn't work (at my end). During no contact, he heard I was going to be at a party on a trip back home and he later admitted he came hoping to see me and talk to me. During the friendship phase after that, he got out of bed in the middle of the night just to see me while i was on a layover flight. I found that strange if he didn't really like me enough.
Anyway, I am going to be moving back home and will definitely bump into him at uni (same faculty). I know he will be happy to see me and might suggest meeting for a coffee orso. But you know, my biggest mistake in that year was that I went with the flow. I trusted we were going in the right direction and got hurt. I thought maybe it better to just be honest about what I want, especially now.
So I thought if he asks that, I'll softly say "how about you call me if you want to step up and take me on a proper date", give a nonchalant smile and then say "goodbye" smiling again. No pressure but conveying what I will not settle for. Is that smart to do though? Or should I just say "sure" and never bother meeting him :P? I mean guys how would you react if a girl does?


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  • Okay, so this guy hasn't tried to pull the sex card on you for a year. And he was honest about not wanting a relationship with you. So this says to me, that his intentions in the beginning is to not lead you astray.

    Also I noticed that a lot of men are very looks-based so if they find you unattractive they often make excuses about your personality BUT if you are HOT enough they will exCUSE your personality. It's rather sad. For example, if they see a picture of you and they find you unattractive they would say 'Nah she's not my type; she's too athletic' or something like that so just be aware of that. My cure to that is to get into a relationship with a VERY goodlooking man; because average guys would probably want to settle with a very attractive woman to cover for their lack and put the average ones on a waiting list --that's my opinion. Whereas goodlooking guys don't have deficiencies in that area so they're willing to give an average girl a shot in my opinion.. not all the time but..

    Not sure if I helped any with your question but hopefully it sheds some light

    • Haha you know what, thats the exact reason I like hot guys! Not because they are hot, but because they really have great personalities when it comes to being themselves. Also, I'm pretty hot and the guy knew it. He did try to convince me to have sex but I told him I don't sleep with anyone unless I'm in a relationship. He was careful with me because I also never made clear what we were. It was a little more complicated than that. He would ask me why I don't want to make out, I said because we're friends.. you say it yourself. So I would give it back to him, but we always give each other kisses on the cheek. We played it super safe. What would your opinion be now?

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