Why organise a date, invite someone over to your house and then cancel two days before hand saying you never want to see them again?

So I meet this guy on a dating site (please no one judge me on this, if you don't like them that's your choice) he seemed great, we got speaking for a few weeks and then he asked me out on a date. We went for a drink last Monday, it went ok wasn't ground shaking but we both had a good time. He sent me a text when he got home saying he'd had a nice time, he'd like to see me again and he hoped I'd got home safe.
Spent the next couple of days talking and then on Friday he asked me on a second date. We organised to go bowling but then what he said next I found unexpected and unsure on how to react. He said would you like my address so you can get picked up from mine or you can even stay over.
Now I have no issue with this but I normally like to get to know someone a bit better before staying over. However I thought to myself I'll go bowling and see how the night goes. So not to cause a fuss I took his address. So the second date is all sorted and organised.
I don't hear from him at all over the weekend but I just guess he's busy and got more important things to do. I sent him a quick message on Sunday asking how he was. He replied but seemed a bit distant from normal and seemed to end the conversation as soon as he could.
Then this morning, Tuesday, two days before the date he sends me a text to cancel saying "Sorry Im going to have to cancel Thursday. I've kinda met someone who i really like and i want to see how things go with them.".
I can kind of understand this but why the hell organise a date and invite someone to your house to stay over, give your address out and then decide to cancel last minute. Surely if he wasn't interested he knew that, so why not call it off after the first date. To be honest I'm not all that bothered, I didn't have an overwhelming desire to have a relationship with him but was willing to give things a go and see how things went. I'm just more intrigued to know what was going on, what he was thinking. Was the qu
Was the question of staying over a trick to see what I would say? Or maybe he has meet someone else which wouldn't be surprising of course. I'm just looking for people's insight on this. Is this something you've done or would do and why?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he was genuinely interested in you. But, he then found a girl he was more interested in.

    Oh, well, There's plenty more fish, as they say.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like he sent the text asking if you wanted his address to the wrong person. It seems he had already met her and was asking her if she wanted his address, then didn't tell you the mistake.

    • That's a possibility but this was all done in a long back and forth conversation and he did know he was talking to me. This was also on whatsApp with my photo in the corner.

    • Well then my thought is unlikely, but still a psooibility if he was not paying attention. Anyway. it is obviously over no.

What Girls Said 2

  • He met someone he liked better... shrug him off, he's an idiot and find someone worthy of your time and attention :)

    • Haha, thanks and I'm not to bothered. Hopefully I'll find someone new at some point:)

    • stop looking and they come along... the reason they come along when you are not looking is because they light up your life so much more...

    • Thanks and you could be right there. That's a nice way of looking at things :)

  • Isn't it obvious? He had organized several dates at once, and this other girl was the most interesting to him. He probably had you and other girls lined up with dates as back-ups in case she declined.

    • This is quite common in internet dating. I've done it before. But I've usually thinned it down to just two at that point, and I'm always honest with them up front.

    • Fair enough and yeah that's very true, I'm fully aware of what internet dating is like. In all fairness to him, he's the first guy who's had the balls to tell me he's not interested. The other guys I've been on dates with have just disappeared and never said anything.

Recommended myTakes